Ah, motivation! A beautiful word, full of promises and more like a mythical creature. It's the elixir of coaches, the unicorn of the lazy and the perfect excuse for those who live in existential ‘snooze mode’.  But, between you and me, who hasn't heard - or said - this gem of procrastination disguised as self-knowledge?  In this article, we're going to analyse this universal statement by the eternal initiates, the experts in beginnings and the masters of non-action. We're going to take a trip to the world of those who never finish anything, but firmly believe that everything would change if only motivation would appear.  There's something rotten in the self-help kingdom - and that's why we're going to talk about it with all the seriousness of a comedy. What is Motivation?   According to behavioural dictionaries, motivation is the internal impulse that makes us act. Blah, blah, blah... In real life and in practice, it's the fire in your ass that makes you get out of bed and write that essay on ‘The Illusion of the Self’ - which has been mouldering away for months. Or start that healthy eating programme. Or reply to people who have been writing to you for over a week. But let's face it: motivation is a lousy lover - beautiful and full of promise at the beginning, but ‘when it comes down to it’, it disappears. Friedrich Nietzsche, always audacious, used to say that human beings create illusions in order to survive the void. And motivation is certainly one of those illusions.   The Eternal Beginnings Syndrome: A passion called Starting Point   Seriously, most of us may disagree, but we can't deny it: Getting started is easy. Yes, everything new has more lustre. Beginnings intoxicate and offer the illusion of infinite possibilities. Kierkegaard said ‘... anguish is the vertigo of freedom...’ and it is precisely in the freedom of choice, in the sea of possibilities, that many drown. But why is it so difficult to finish what we've started? The answer may be simple: completing something requires confrontation. Finishing something means looking in the mirror and facing everything we were, what we failed to be and everything we could have been. It means seeing failure and mediocrity where there should only be responsibility. Beginning, on the other hand, is pure romanticism, with the smell of freshly brewed coffee and expensive notebooks that won't be crossed out and used until the end.   Motivation is not a cause. It's a consequence!   And the hard truth that nobody wants to hear is: Nobody acts because they're motivated. But everyone is motivated because they have started to act. Action always comes first. Motivation is just the applause that echoes at the end. An example of this is taking up walking (or any other type of physical exercise). The first day is a slog. On the second, we're still making excuses not to go. On the third, perhaps we feel less pain. On the tenth day, we look in the mirror and see a minimum of definition - even if it's illusory, it doesn't matter - but something inside us lights up. And there's the motivation, like the fire and not like the spark.   The Unicorn Corporation of the Modern Era and the Generation of Almost   Let's just say that, as well as living in the age of ‘almost’, motivation has become a fetish. It's sold and packaged in three-minute videos with epic soundtracks and out-of-context catchphrases. The interesting thing is that many of us need it to keep ‘going’ - yes, it's sad. Just like an addiction, the motivation market works in the same way. What nobody tells you is that motivation is something that comes and goes. It acts in the same way as a Sunday night moral hangover, which always promises changes on Monday - something that is never fulfilled. But the issue here is not a lack of motivation but a lack of discipline. It's very easy to feel motivated by a sunset and promise yourself that everything will change tomorrow. It's hard to get up early on Monday and do what needs to be done - even if you don't want to.   Our dear, bitter and brilliant Nietzsche said: ‘He who has a why will face any how.’ In other words, if you don't know what you want out of life, no motivation will be enough for you. Nobody erects statues to those who have almost made history. Jean-Paul Sartre said that we are condemned to be free and in this freedom we often choose inertia dressed up as planning. And it's not that we lack capacity, what we lack is the ability to face up to the fact that, behind the talk of a lack of motivation, what may exist is fear of failure, of judgement, of change and even of being successful.   Motivation has become a gourmet  excuse for a lack of discipline  and shame. We live in times when the idea of being productive requires buying courses, hiring coaches and following people who we don't even know if their lives are real. And as if that weren't enough, where are those who buy into these ideas and ‘techniques’ but remain stuck and feel even more frustrated? The ‘side effects’ aren't mentioned, and when they are, it's obviously in illegible letters.  My point is: the problem is not the techniques, but the identity behind the need for them. Seeing yourself as someone doomed to give up: ‘Oh, that's just me.’, ‘I just can't do it!’... No, my dear. You chose to be like that. Assume it! Freedom implies responsibility, including for your own failures.   Raw and Honest Practices for: Get rid of the curse of non-completion, stop relying on motivation and to act more consistently Well, enough of the rhetoric and let's get down to business. If you're willing to step out of the victim role and take responsibility for your life, these suggestions are for you!   Have clear objectives  - there's no point in wanting to ‘be better’. Better for what? What for? Why? Switch off notifications when you're focused on something important  - Seriously. All of them. Focus isn't born in noise (unless you practise it). Learn to enjoy boredom  - repetition builds results. Stop comparing yourself  - This will get you nowhere, as most people use comparison as self-flagellation rather than inspiration. Create real consequences  - what will happen if you don't do what needs to be done? It will continue the way you don't want it to. Is there a greater punishment than being mediocre in your own life? Not for me. Be your own ‘boss  ’ - self-indulgence is the cradle of failure. Set a ‘shame deadline  ’ - set dates, appointments with yourself. Cross out phrases like: ‘When I can, I'll do it...’, ‘Monday I'll start...’, ‘Tomorrow I'll do it...’ from your dialogue (internal and external).   Reward yourself for the effort and not for the result  - make the process more enjoyable than the result itself. Learn to start with what you hate  - the least pleasurable tasks should always be done first and without overthinking it. Don't give yourself chances to give up before you've even started. Accept the fact that nothing will be perfect  - do it, because what's done is far better than what's ideal. Perfectionism is just another form of fear. Read more biographies and fewer self-help quotes  - people have become accustomed to wanting things ready-made, ignoring the process behind them. Go and see how the thing was built, how much discipline was involved. Understand your energy cycles  - stop charging yourself to exhaustion. Especially us women who don't have a stable monthly line. Respect is the watchword here! Keep a list of things you've finished  - that way you'll see how capable you are. Create rituals, not hope  - those who hope are always waiting for something. Stop waiting, create your own rituals, they give you pleasure and pleasure is addictive! Reward yourself, but sparingly  - too much pampering creates what? Spoilt adults, so stop proliferating this ‘breed’. The world is already full of spoilt people, you don't have to be one yourself for a change.     The Motivation Paradox   Funnily enough, those who need motivation are the ones who run away from action the most. Yes, it's cruel, but it's real. Those who try to motivate themselves are often those who have already decided, even if unconsciously, that they are not going to finish the thing itself. These are the people who look externally for what should really be an internal commitment. Discipline is boring, but it's faithful. Motivation may be sexy, but it's a bitch. Simone de Beauvoir would say: ‘It is through work that woman frees herself from man, and man from boredom.’ Replace the word ‘work’ with ‘action’ and you'll turn a key. Summary for the motivated   If you've come this far expecting a magic formula for motivation, I'm sorry. What you need isn't motivation, maybe just a bit of shame and a dose of self-irony. Motivation doesn't grow on trees. But maybe you'll realise that it doesn't save anyone from anything. It can inspire, but it's discipline that will build. Habit moulds, but it's persistence, that insistent nag, that will turn any project into a reality.   What we need is more attitude, more action and not more motivation. We need to build up the courage to continue, even without the internal applause. The motivation will go, but the habit will stay. So let's not fool ourselves any longer. Let's start now. Even if we don't want to, even if we don't feel like it. No-one will save us from the comfortable prison we've built for ourselves. And if you're the type who likes a philosophical punch and a kick of irony, keep reading the other articles on the blog. Here the talk is straight and without make-up. Comment, ask questions, criticise, suggest topics, send it to your mum, send it to your crush  or to that friend who's always talking about motivation. And of course, check out the UN4RT  website - our free backstage of in-depth and exclusive content, made especially for those who aren't afraid to think, feel and transform.  And remember: The pain of regret is silent but unbearable. The pain of action is noisy but liberating. At the moment of death, it is better to die with memories than with dreams.     ‘Illusion crumbles when we question reality.’   - UN4RT     Here are the sources, references and inspirations. Go and read.   Friedrich Nietzsche , Thus Spoke Zarathustra. Søren Kierkegaard , The Concept of Angst . Jean-Paul Sartre , Being and Nothingness . Simone de Beauvoir , The Second Sex .

In the wild paradise of the internet, there's always some guru saying that waking up at 5am and taking a cold shower is the secret to success. And if there's one thing that's trending, it's productivity - as well as its cousin, the notorious burnout.  In the theatre of modern life, being disciplined has become a violent sport - almost a competition over who can ignore their human desires the most in the name of high performance.  Imagine a world where you wake up at 5.15am, drink a green juice or bulletproof coffee and run 10 kilometres while listening to a podcast about ‘quantum productivity’. If that sounds like a dream come true, congratulations! You've just wished you were in machine mode, where even your leisure time is timed to generate ‘existential efficiency’ reports.  The irony? Discipline is indeed necessary for life, but our society has taken this idea and started selling it in the best ‘life hacks’ style, all at a modest price, of course.   It sounds very practical and pretty, but come on, capitalist grasshopper. Before you turn into a caffeine- and spreadsheet-fuelled automaton, let's philosophise a little about how to tame this beast of discipline without having to sell your soul to the god of unbridled profit.  Being disciplined and productive is perfectly possible, even better it's achievable and you won't need to become a cyborg programmed by some coach in a tight shirt. All without a nervous breakdown and even without having to read ‘The Magic of the Morning’, thinking it was a divine revelation (my own experience). Yes, even if nobody tells you, there is a middle ground between absolute laziness and the cult of high performance, and all without turning our lives into an eternal episode of ‘Black Mirror’.  Let's start by poking - very lightly - at the wound of the status quo.   The Great Misunderstanding: Discipline ≠ Modern Slavery   Let's say the word discipline has been hijacked. In the past, philosophers like Aristotle saw discipline as a path to virtue - the ethos  of those who sought excellence (not followers). Today, it's been repackaged and has become synonymous with working until you're sick or die. (Ps: That's not discipline, it's alienation with a productivity filter, hint hint).   Disciplining yourself isn't about becoming an efficient machine, it's about building an honest relationship with yourself. It's more about self-mastery and less about self-exploitation. Simone de Beauvoir said that ‘...freedom is the act of choosing oneself at every moment...’ - that, ladies and gentlemen, is discipline and not chaining oneself to a toxic productivity agenda. It's consciously deciding where we're going to invest our time, our focus and our energy.   How to have more Discipline: The Dilemma between Zen and Corporate Zombie   The problem today is that we have come to confuse discipline with obedience. Obedience is a slave; discipline is free. Thinkers like Michel Foucault have already warned us about the techniques of power that discipline includes. These techniques are subtle forms of control that we internalise and that shape our behaviour. Discipline, in this context, can be seen as a technology of power that is imposed on us, domesticating us for the proper functioning of society.   But what if we could subvert this logic? What if discipline were a tool for personal liberation, a means of achieving our own goals, detached from the incessant pursuit of capital accumulation? Nietzsche, with his usual audacity, told us about the ‘will to power’, not as domination of others, but as the driving force for self-overcoming. Genuine discipline, therefore, would not be imposed from outside, but would emanate from an internal desire to grow, to conquer oneself. It's the difference between being a robot programmed to obey and an artist who sculpts his own life with care and dedication.   Of course, this idea wouldn't have gone down too well in the factories of the 19th century, where workers learnt to dance to the music of the machines - today, choreographies are made for engagement metrics. The school? Nothing more than an assembly line for ‘useful minds’.  Simone de Beauvoir already spoke brilliantly about freedom as a constant project, a daily ethical construction. In this spirit, discipline isn't a prison, it's a bridge. Between what you want to be and what you're willing to do to get there.  You don't have to wake up at 5am. But you could stop scrolling through your social media feed until dawn, the meaning of your life won't appear in the next story.  The Invisible Monster   You know him well, maybe you're even him - sometimes - you just don't realise it. You're the one who wakes up to one or more annoying alarms - and who presses ‘snooze mode’ several times before getting up and is already listening to a productivity podcast while in the bathroom, then answering emails or scrolling through social media while munching on an isolated protein bar and treating any form of rest as a moral failing and useless ‘for not doing anything’.   That robot is the legitimate child of a society that has convinced you that your only function on this planet is to produce. Not to reflect. Not to feel. Not to create. Just produce, easy to understand and execute. You're just another member of the Borg collective. It lives in us whenever we feel guilty about resting and when we look at a beautiful sunset while thinking ‘I should be doing something useful with my life’.  Let me tell you something, this thought is not yours, but that of people who monetise your attention, your anxiety and your time. Exaggeration? Read on.   Visions of Discipline   Simone de Beauvoir, with her lucid analysis of the female condition, showed us how social structures often impose invisible disciplines on us, limiting our choices and moulding us into predefined roles. Her quest for autonomy and freedom required relentless personal discipline, a refusal to bow to other people's expectations. With his mathematical and philosophical ideas, Pythagoras spoke of the importance of order and harmony. He believed that discipline was something that extended far beyond the simple fulfilment of rules, something deeper that reflected our search for inner balance, the consistency between our thoughts and actions.   Stoicism, on the other hand, defended self-discipline as the road to virtue and acceptance of the things we can't control. Meanwhile, hedonism whispers in a hoarse voice that momentary and immediate pleasure is the only truly relevant goal. The middle ground, as always, seems to be the ideal - and the most labour-intensive to achieve. We can seek pleasure, of course, but without it completely distracting us from our long-term goals. Let's say it's like eating half a tin of carrot cake with Belgian chocolate ganache icing at the weekend, knowing that we have an appointment with the dietician on Monday.   Behaviourism, with its reinforcement and punishment experiments, tries to condition us to desirable behaviours through rewards and corrections. But do we really want to be like Pavlov's puppies, salivating at the sound of the productivity bell? Genuine discipline comes from an internal understanding of why we do what we do, and not just from seeking an external reward.   Discipline and Freedom: An unlikely marriage?   The apparent contradiction between discipline and freedom is just that: apparent. Again using the Stoics as an example - especially Epictetus - who already taught us that true freedom comes from internal mastery. It's not about doing what you want and when you want, but knowing what's worth doing and standing firm, even - and especially - when no one is looking. Virginia Woolf, at the height of her visceral writing, would say that you need ‘a room of your own’ - an internal space for reflection and choice, which can be summarised as space, time and silence. Both Epictetus and Virginia were talking about the same thing in different ways: Structure as freedom, not prison. Healthy discipline is an architecture of existence. A pact between you and your ability to create meaning, even in the midst of chaos. But it's important not to fall into the trap of thinking that discipline and austerity are synonymous. In fact, all of this also boils down to healing our relationship with time. We should stop seeing the hours as coins and start seeing them as brushes. Demystifying Self-Discipline   Discipline is that stubborn muscle you need to exercise. At first, it hurts, you sweat, you think a million times about giving up and maybe even cry a little in the foetal position. But with time and constant practice, it gets stronger, allowing you to lift heavier weights - metaphorically or literally, it depends - and all without your mental sanity ‘going to buy cigarettes and never coming back’.   Therefore, being disciplined - in my experience - means being consistent with your own objectives, not those of your company's HR department or those of other people. It's having the courage to choose a comfortable and constant cadence in a world that values erratic haste. It's sleeping eight or nine hours a night with your mobile phone in aeroplane mode. It's reading at least 10 pages of a book without checking your mobile every three minutes.   Real discipline is subversive. Because it implies self-knowledge, and self-knowledge is the most dangerous weapon against a system that wants us alienated, tired and sick.   Practices & Tips for Loose Discipline (all without having to become a Drone)  Let's get down to business. Here are several (not so) secret practices that I've sought out, studied and practised - some to this day, not only on how to have more discipline, but also on how to optimise it. Choose the one(s) that make the most sense to you and just go!   Be wary of productivity gurus:  they profit from your insecurity. If someone promises that your life will change in 7 steps (with or without a planner), run. Life is more chaotic than that, and what works for one person may not work for the rest of the population. Remember: Buddha learnt to meditate without needing an online course, so you can too. Define your ‘whys’ clearly : why do you want to be more disciplined? If the answer is just ‘to make money and impress my neighbours’, perhaps you lack a deeper purpose. Set priorities that make sense to you : not to your boss. Not for your husband/wife/children, in other words, no-one but YOU. Start small, think big (but don't put too much pressure on yourself at first) : don't try to run a marathon on the first day. Start with small, achievable goals and gradually increase them. Have a routine, but treat it as an outline, not a court judgement : flexibility is also discipline. Rigidity is the fastest way to giving up. Manage your distractions (unless they're really fun) : identify what prevents you from concentrating (social media, side conversations, the rambling of your own mind) and find strategies to deal with it. Avoid multitasking like avoiding a financial pyramid scheme - unless you REALLY have the capacity to do it : doing everything at the same time is the shortest route to doing nothing properly. Include rest as part of the process, not as a reward : rest is not a reward. It's a physiological, mental, emotional and creative need. Use the Pomodoro technique with wine: work for 25 minutes, rest for 5 and on the fifth cycle replace the coffee with wine, for example. Embrace the art of saying ‘no’:  saying no to useless meetings and other things we don't want or need (including people) is like saying ‘no’ to an overdose of sugar - it hurts at first, saves later. Use technology to your advantage (without becoming a slave to it) : there are many applications and tools that can help you organise your progress. But remember, they are tools, not masters. Practise mindfulness and self-care (broken robots don't produce) : sleep well, eat real food and make time for activities that give you pleasure. Concentrate on your present, you don't need to become the Dalai Lama. You just need to be  aware of where you are. Create rituals (without falling into neurosis), not just tasks : Making coffee can be a ritual of focus. Writing can be a ritual of presence. Drinking coffee while reading a book is more effective than marking ‘read 10 pages’ in your diary. Rituals give meaning to actions and create pleasure in practice. And pleasure is addictive - or why do you think rituals are still used so much in religions and so on? Rituals are sacred, routines are bureaucratic. Use this to your advantage. Let go of the lash of penance, be comfortable with inconstancy and allow yourself to fail : Discipline is not linear. There will be good days and not so good days. The important thing is not to give up at the first slip, so train like a Zen monk, but allow yourself a lazy day. Even the samurai had days off. Develop self-compassion (because you are not - yet - a superhuman, regardless of whether you think you are or try to be one) : Be kind to yourself, especially in times of difficulty. Excessive self-criticism is paralysing. Deal with procrastination as a symptom, not a character defect : You don't procrastinate because you're lazy. Maybe it's fear, or insecurity, or tiredness, or even boredom... Investigate! Reinterpret failure : You made a mistake? Good. Now you have data, not a reason to flagellate yourself. Replace self-criticism with self-responsibility : ‘I only fuck up’ is self-punishment. ‘I made a mistake, I can do better’ is maturity. One phrase builds, the other destroys. Embrace creative leisure:  discipline lives where entertainment dies. Anyone who can't spend 10 minutes in silence with themselves is going to be held hostage by the algorithm. Uninstall social media. At least for a week. Go on, be strong. As Bertrand Russell once said: ‘Boredom is a breeding ground for ideas.’ Give the algorithm a holiday and give your intuition time : those who live by notifications become products. Silence your mobile phone and listen to yourself. Ps: You have really good ideas. So listen to yourself. Have a greater motive than your bank account : goals motivated only by money or social validation become sand dripping through your fingers. Discipline requires purpose. Ask yourself: ‘What exactly do I want this for?’   Create micro-habits, not existential marathons : Don't try to become a Buddhist monk in 3 days. Start with 10 minutes of reading, 5 minutes of meditation, 2 minutes of conscious breathing. It's the accumulation of small actions that moves mountains. Automate what doesn't matter, prioritise what moves you : Steve Jobs always wore the same clothes. Not because he was a Zen monk and certainly not because he couldn't afford to buy new ones, but because he understood that focus is a limited resource. Save your energy for creating, not for deciding between jeans or a sweatshirt. Always doubt that ‘great is the enemy of good ’: Perfection is a trap to justify   burnout. Prefer ‘done, not perfect’ - even your coffee can be bad and still work. Reward yourself without guilt, celebrate micro-victories, but in moderation : Celebrate your achievements, even the ones you consider small, this will help you reinforce positive habits. Finished an email without sending someone to hell? Congratulations. Only those who live/work with people know how much this counts as a victory. Practise ‘cold ignition’ : Start boring tasks without thinking and do them first. As Nietzsche would say: ‘Sometimes you have to jump into the abyss and discover that it is shallow’. Mix work and pleasure (in moderation, of course) : write reports while listening to heavy metal. Read a philosophy book in a pub. Chaos can be extremely productive. Just don't use it as an excuse for a lack of organisation in your home or acts of a sexual nature in public. Cultivate discipline like a novel, not like a military regime : Discipline isn't something you impose, it's something you seduce. It's a daily flirtation with your best self, not a rallying cry. Practise patience (discipline is a marathon, not a 100-metre race) : Significant results take time. Don't get frustrated if you don't see changes overnight. Find a ‘discipline partner’ (if you're the type who can stand the company of another person or who needs encouragement from someone) : Sharing your goals with someone can help you stay motivated and accountable, BUT be absolutely careful with this. Choose someone you really trust and (preferably) who shares the same goal as you. Otherwise: Grow in silence! You don't have to tell anyone about your dreams, goals and plans. Remember that your value doesn't lie in what you produce : you're valuable even if you spend the day staring at the ceiling, scratching your bum or even dragging chains around the house.   In Brief (for those who have just arrived and are too lazy)   Discipline isn't a lash, it's a compass. It serves to guide you, not punish you. Being disciplined without becoming a slave to work is finding a balance between the pursuit of goals and respect for your own sanity. It's about using discipline as a tool to achieve what really matters to you, without letting yourself be consumed by the pressure of a system that often wants us to be mere production machines. It's about having focus, creating healthy habits and persisting, but it's also about knowing when to slow down and enjoy life. Society tries to sell us the idea that discipline is synonymous with obedience - to something or someone. That's a lie. Real discipline is a silent rebellion against the tyranny of ‘I don't have time’. Did you like the article?   Leave your comments, suggest topics, curse my analogies, send questions, share with friends who are slaves to planners... We'll read everything and respond with pleasure!   Oh, and if you're the more demanding type, more questioning, more off the beaten track, then hurry over to the UN4RT  website - our backstage with even more daring and visceral content, made especially for those who won't swallow superficiality even with brown sugar.  Discipline, yes. Not alienation. Resist, be disciplined, but in your own way and with style! Author's note : This article ‘wrote itself in my mind’ between 3am and 5am, with the help of mosquitoes buzzing in my ears, a cat fight at my window and a healthy hatred of my Notion idea organisation spreadsheets. Irony is never accidental - it's a survival technique.       ‘Illusion crumbles when we question reality.’   - UN4RT       Ah, get the sources, references and inspirations out there, just don't bother!     Black Mirror, British television series that was bought by Netflix. It was created by Charlie Brooker and focuses on dark themes in a satirical way, where the main focus is modern society. In particular, it talks about how technology can turn our lives into a ‘high-tech nightmare ’. Aristot le, Nicomachean Ethics . Ethos, a word of Greek origin with a philosophical concept. It is defined as the set of characteristics and ways of being that define the character or identity of a group. For the ancient Greeks, this word originally meant the dwelling place of man, in other words, nature. Ethos is moulded through education, example and constant practice, which forms virtuous character. Simone de Beauvoir , The Ethics of Ambiguity . Michel Foucault , Discipline and Punish e a The History of Sexuality. Friedrich Nietzsche , Thus Spoke Zarathustra . Borg, ‘Resistance is futile’, a phrase known by the “species” of cybernetic organisms from the fictional Star Trek universe. They believe that the solution to all the universe's problems is to turn everyone into a robot with no opinion of their own. Pythagoras of Samos, Greek philosopher and mathematician, founder of Pythagoreanism. Stoicism , a philosophy that teaches us to live according to reason, seeking inner tranquillity by accepting what we cannot control, focussing on our reactions to adversity. Hedonism, a philosophy that defends the pursuit of pleasure as the main goal in life. Behaviorism, a psychological approach that focuses on the study of observable behaviour, rejecting the analysis of internal mental processes. Pavlov's puppies , a reference to a famous experiment conducted by psychologist Ivan Pavlov, which demonstrated the principle of classical conditioning. In the experiment, Pavlov used a sound (bell-like) every time he offered food to a puppy. After several repetitions, the dog began to salivate only when it heard the sound of the bell, even if it didn't receive any food. This was because the sound was associated with food, and the dog began to automatically respond to the sound with salivation, without the need for the presence of food itself. This phenomenon showed how behaviour can be conditioned by associations with external stimuli. Epictet us, The Handbook (Enchiridion). Virginia Woolf , A Room of One's Own . Buddha , or Siddhartha Gautama, was an Indian prince who lived between the 6th and 5th centuries BC. Dalai Lama, title given to the spiritual leader of Tibetan Buddhism, considered to be the incarnation of Avalokiteshvara, the Bodhisattva of Compassion. The current Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso , was born in 1935 in Tibet and was recognised as the fourteenth incarnation of the Dalai Lama when he was two years old. Bertrand Russel , The Conquest of Happiness. Steve Jobs , was one of the founders of Apple Inc. He was widely known for his vision, perfectionism and his ability to anticipate market needs, as well as his insistence on simplicity and user experience. Notion, productivity application that integrates various tools. Developed by Notion Labs Inc. and launched in 2016.

Ah, life, an eternal social experiment in which we are forced to coexist, resulting in a Herculean challenge: to deal with ‘arseholes’ without committing a crime worthy of a streaming platform documentary - yes, they are everywhere.  From the neighbour who decides to listen to funk at seven in the morning, to that co-worker who insists on explaining the obvious to you, as if she were Einstein revealing the Theory of Relativity. That's why it's important for you to know that no matter who you are - Doctor or Monster - sooner or later you will be confronted by the mythological creatures of boredom.  But calm down, there is hope! Grab your cup of coffee (or something stronger) and join me, because today we're going to explore how to survive these beings without ending up behind bars.   A Brief Study of Annoying People   Whether it's the bloke who makes conversation by poking, the enlightened being who decides to tell his testimony at the top of his lungs at the bus stop, or the little human being who ends every sentence with ‘Got it?’ it's undeniable that humanity is full of characters who challenge our patience and test our ability to socialise without accidental murder. Jean-Paul Sartre, always very clever, had already warned us when he said ‘Hell is other people’. But do we really need to consider moving to a faraway cave just to avoid a nervous breakdown? I don't necessarily think so. There are more civilised and less legally compromising ways of dealing with the annoying fauna around us. So let's start by understanding what defines this species.   Irritating People: A Definition   Irritation is subjective, but some creatures seem to have the universal gift of exhausting other people's reserves of patience. Schopenhauer saw human interactions as a dance of porcupines: we approach each other to seek warmth, but end up poking each other. That's why I say that: the citizen who listens to bad music without headphones, the aunt who asks when you're going to have children (even though she knows you don't want them), the driver who slams on the brakes in front of you: they all have something in common. They just don't realise (or don't care) about the impact of their actions on the world around them. ‘Patience is bitter, but its fruits are sweet,’ said Jean-Jacques Rousseau. But, Rousseau, dear, have you ever tried to keep your composure while someone chews with their mouth open in front of you?   Strategies for Survival (Emanating Inner Peace)   Well, since the penal code still considers murder a criminal offence, we need to find less extreme ways of dealing with these creatures. So here are a few methods I've tested - mainly during my time as a bartender in Berlin.   The Adapted Stoic Method - Be a Rock, Be a Mountain, Be Wi-Fi with a Password Seneca, the stoic of stoics, said: ‘Life is too short to be small’. Which in other words means: don't waste emotional - or any other kind of - energy on those who don't deserve it. He preached emotional indifference in the face of adversity. If applied correctly, Stoicism allows you to react to an inconvenient subject (drunk or not) with the same impassivity as a statue in a public square. Is someone telling you an endless story about some shit that doesn't interest you? Imagine a desert, a lavender field, a silent film. Practise the ‘neutral museum face’ - that unaffected expression the security guards at the Neues Museum  give when they hear tourists ask where the Bust of Nefertiti is (when it's right there in front of them). Another famous Stoic, Marcus Aurelius, in his work ‘Meditations’, reminds us that ‘The best revenge is not to be like your enemy’. So you can also use the ‘Art of the Verbal Dodge’, another powerful weapon in our armoury. It boils down to using the shield of sarcasm and the sword of irony. When someone says something irritating and inconvenient, respond with a smile a la  Sphinx and a phrase like: ‘How clever! You should patent that idea’. The Zen Method Version 2.0 - The Way of the Detached Monk Buddhism teaches us that irritation is a construction of the mind. This means that, in theory, you don't have to get angry with the guy who decides to pay for a coffee with a mountain of two cent coins. In theory. In practice, your soul is already screaming internally like a fire evacuation siren. The secret? Breathe. Meditate. Imagine yourself floating in the cosmos while humanity continues with its usual mediocrity - it's just another day in paradise, enjoy it. Another way would be to imagine yourself as a monk watching the ocean waves: they come and go, just like the annoying people in your life. Don't try to control or change these people: just accept their ephemeral existence in the grand scheme of things. Buddha said that suffering comes from attachment. Perhaps irritation is, deep down, a reflection of what we expect from others. Try looking at the irritating person as a case study, a phenomenon of nature, a passing storm. Does their voice sound like a cracked stick or a hoarse duck? Imagine that it could be a duck in mating season. The Method from a Nietzschean Approach - The Art of Intellectual Contempt If patience really isn't your thing and you're a fan of a bolder approach, why not try refined contempt? Instead of rolling your eyes like an annoyed teenager, adopt the intellectual aristocrat attitude: a look of slight superiority, a resigned sigh and a sentence involving at least two words the interlocutor doesn't know. Example: An annoying person says: ‘I don't really like reading, I find it boring.’ You reply: ‘Oh, I understand. Some minds develop better through other primitive stimuli.’ (And walk away). We must admit that Nietzsche mastered the art of refined contempt, he taught us that ‘That which does not kill us makes us stronger’. A sharp but elegant response can turn an unbearable interaction into a small personal triumph. Just be careful not to cross the line and end up with unnecessary bollocks. Use common sense without moderation. The Powerful Method of Sarcasm reinforced by Strategic Escape Oscar Wilde was the master of refined irony. When confronted by someone irritating - which in the Victorian era meant almost the entire population - he would respond with acid humour - but without losing his elegance. After all, nothing disarms an irritating person faster than realising that their provocations are met with witty indifference. Sun Tzu wrote that ‘The supreme art of war is to defeat the enemy without fighting’. Sometimes the best way to deal with the unbearable is to simply walk away. Avoid, dodge, disappear like a ninja. If that's not possible, invest in headphones, a good podcast or a momentary astral journey. Oh, you can always pretend that the person is part of the scenery, like a post or a potted plant. You can respond with a vacant stare or even the Miss Candidate Technique . The Social Experiment Method This one is extremely simple, just turn annoyance into fun. Try interacting with the annoying person in an unexpected way. If an annoying person at work is monopolising the conversation, ask them something absurdly philosophical like: ‘Do you think time is linear or a collective illusion?’ Hopefully, he'll get distracted and you'll escape unscathed (it's worked every time for me). The Final Conclusion Method (Metaphorically speaking) But if all else fails and your patience reaches critical levels, the best solution is to avoid these individuals like a vampire avoids sunlight. There are a number of advanced techniques for this, and here we can get creative. The fake headset : even without music, it protects your sanity. The ‘busy face’ : it works mainly at work. Interest in a book : pretend to be deeply engaged in reading a book (even if it's just an instruction manual for some rubbish you bought on impulse). Always walk down the street wearing sunglasses : people never know what you're looking at, so you can always pretend you didn't see when the annoying person waves - combined with headphones, this is a must. The classic excuse : ‘I need to take an important phone call’ and disappear into the smoke of your own genius.   The Moral Dilemma   Here arises an intriguing philosophical question: are annoying people really to blame for being that way? Or are we, with our unrealistic expectations and lack of tolerance, the real villains? Simone de Beauvoir said: ‘Man is free; but he finds the law in his own freedom.’ Perhaps we should reflect on our own responsibility for harbouring negative feelings towards these inevitable human interactions.   What results in the development of empathy, that rare and elusive feeling, can also be useful. Try to imagine the annoying person as a human being with their own problems and insecurities. Maybe they're just trying to get attention, like a peacock desperate for praise and recognition. Or maybe they're just... annoying and that's fine.   The Great Challenge of Living with Humans   The world is full of annoying people and, unless you move to a cave in the Himalayas, you're going to have to learn to live with them. Living with them can be a daily test of mental endurance and self-control. So if you think about it, these individuals provide us with a constant exercise in spiritual evolution - or at least a great opportunity to train our ability to avoid a breakdown.   Let's not forget that deep down we are all just part of the chaotic spectacle of human life and we don't control the actions of others, only our own. So if all the methods, techniques and strategies for getting along fail, we can always feign dementia or an attack of selective amnesia.   In my opinion, annoying people are like distorted mirrors; they show us our own flaws and insecurities in an uncomfortable light. Perhaps it's time we embraced this discomfort and used it to grow - or at least to laugh as we move forward. Now, if you've got this far without wanting to throw your mobile phone at the wall, congratulations! You're ready to survive without the need for police reports. So how about exploring some more?   Like it, leave your testimony in the comments, what techniques do you use to avoid using your primary defendant? And don't forget to share it with those who need a dose of philosophical sarcasm.  And if you want to access exclusive content and dive into the ‘backstage’ of the most daring ideas, visit the UN4RT  website - a free refuge for brilliant minds who need a breather from this exhausting world.   ‘Illusion crumbles when we question reality.’   - UN4RT     Yes, the sources, references and inspirations are there! Good luck, you'll need it!   Doctor or Monster , a reference to the classic work of literature written by Scotsman Robert Louis Stevenson : ‘ The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde / The Doctor and the Monster ’. Jean-Paul Sartre , Huis Clos (No Exit). Arthur Schopenhauer , Parerga and Paralipomena . Jean-Jacques Rousseau , the quotation in the article is an adaptation of a popular proverb, not a direct quotation linked to a specific work. Seneca , Letters to Lucilius. Neues Museum , n English ‘New Museum’ is one of the five museums that make up Museum Island. (Museuminsel) in Berlin, Germany. Bust of Nefertiti , an important work made of limestone and approximately 3400 years old, which depicts Nefertiti, the Great Royal Wife of the pharaoh Akhenaton. The bust is on display at the Neues Museum in Berlin, Germany. Marcus Aureli us , Meditations. Buddha ,  Dhammapada . Friedrich Nietzsche , Twilight of the Idols. Oscar Wilde , Irish writer, poet and playwright. Sun Tzu , The Art of War. Simone de Beauvoir , The Ethics of Ambiguity.

Everyone has heard, at least once in their life, the clichéd motivational phrase: ‘If life gives you lemons, make lemonade’. Harmless, optimistic and almost naive. This phrase is ‘shoved down our throats’ as if it were an infallible philosophy of life. Since the dawn of humanity, we've had the strange habit of turning defeats into catchphrases. Which is understandable in a way - who likes the idea that things might be happening for no reason, right? But between you and me, have you ever wondered: who is profiting from all this citrus abundance? Who really gains from the idea that you should accept challenges and turn them into an ‘opportunity’? Because, let's face it: life doesn't hand out lemons for free, and if they're dumping a whole load on us, there's someone taking advantage of it.   The Existential Lemons Market   Pain has always been a valuable commodity. If you think that all the difficulties we face are just random misfortunes that are part of chance or ‘fate’, then you'd better rethink that. Human suffering has always been a gold mine for those who know how to capitalise on it.  The misunderstood philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said that ‘Hope is the worst of evils, for it prolongs man's torment’. And what do they do with our suffering? They package it in self-help books, turn it into productivity courses, sell it as miracle pills.  Exaggeration? Want an example? The self-help market is a billion-dollar industry. There is a veritable empire built on the idea of the ‘millionaire mindset  ’. While we're out there trying to ‘win at life’, someone is selling the secret to success for just 997.00 or 12X 83.08 without interest. But don't worry, if you act now, you'll get a free e-book! Of course, because all we need to thrive is a video webinar and a 50-page e-book.  What they don't tell us is that the real game is to get us to keep buying, after all, we only bought Volume I. Dependence, addiction, habit, need... call it what you like.  But don't get me wrong. I'm not belittling the knowledge and work of those who have developed their expertise and offer it to others - I'd be being hypocritical if I did. The issue here is the conscious USE of our pain in order to achieve greater profit.  This article is about those who want only one thing: to benefit at our expense. And believe me, you'd be amazed at how ‘in your face’ this is. We're the ones who don't even realise it. Unfortunately, this isn't a conspiracy theory - it used to be.   The System Doesn't Want You Healthy or Dead: It Wants You Sick (and Exhausted)   Jean Baudrillard alerted us to the fact that we live in a distorted reality, a kind of ‘simulation’ carefully designed through narratives that keep us running like productive cogs. But Byung-Chul Han went further and described our time as the era of self-exploitation: ‘The neoliberal subject exploits himself and believes that this fulfils him.’. In other words, we no longer need a boss shouting orders. The system has made us torture ourselves. We believe that all we have to do is try harder, sleep less, work longer hours, produce more and if we don't succeed, it's because we didn't try hard enough.   And so we continue on the hamster wheel, without realising that the game has been set up so that only a few win. While some reap the rewards, others are exhausted trying to make lemonade out of lemons they didn't ask for.  It's important to emphasise that this is also where the myth of meritocracy comes in, which is part of these distortions. ‘Work hard and you will win’, “Work while others sleep” are slogans  created to make us accept exploitation as if it were a virtue.  Capitalism doesn't want you to discover that your neighbour's oranges are irrigated with government subsidies. It prefers that you continue to believe that everything can be solved with more effort and a positive mindset. No wonder the machine keeps churning out content about ‘resilience’ and ‘millionaire mindset  ’ while the owners of the game keep multiplying their wealth.   The Economics of Toxic Optimism   ‘Optimism is the opium of the people,’ Karl Marx might have said, if he had lived long enough to see industry flourish - and also to see his ideas practised and fail in equal measure. An interesting thing would be: instead of blindly embracing these narratives, let's decide to question the system that bombards us with these lemons. As the brilliant philosopher Simone de Beauvoir suggested, ‘One is not born a woman, one becomes one.’. Which, taking poetic licence, could also mean: ‘You're not born an optimist, you become one’. And, apparently, we become optimistic by buying an endless series of products to deal with life's lemons. Do the Ends Justify the Means?   Machiavelli, if he were alive, would probably say that the power dynamics behind this system are indeed brilliant. He had already taught that ‘the end justifies the means’, and this philosophy has been taken to a new level by modern capitalism. Artificial problems are created and then solutions are sold at ‘gold-plated banana’ prices. The idea that ‘all you have to do is try hard enough’ is a good decoy. Not because effort is irrelevant, but because ignoring structural inequalities is convenient for those at the top. The neighbour's oranges are irrigated with subsidies, while we struggle to grow our lemons in the desert. In other words, the genius of modern exploitation is to make you think that it's all your fault.   The Metaphysics of Bitterness   Let's think for a moment: what are these ‘lemons’ that life is supposed to give us? Problems at work? Failed relationships? A shortage of money? Bills to pay? Or are they merely social constructs, designed to keep us eternally dissatisfied and therefore eternally consuming? As Nietzsche might have said (if he had an obsession with citrus fruits): ‘When you look at the lemon, the lemon also looks at you.’ Profound, no? Or maybe it's just the citric acid eating away at my metaphorical retina.   The Squeezer Paradox   Here's a question to get your brain in a sailor's knot: if we make lemonade out of all the lemons life gives us, aren't we actually perpetuating the cycle? The more efficient we become at dealing with problems, the more problems ‘the universe’ seems to throw in our lap. It's as if the cosmos were a sadistic barman, always ready to refill our glass with challenges. With this in mind, what would it be like if instead of passively accepting lemons or turning them into lemonade, we decided to change things a little? Imagine a society where, on receiving a lemon, people asked: ‘Who planted this tree? Who picked this fruit? How much pesticide was used? Are you sure this can be eaten? And why the hell am I getting this now?’   The Great Citrus Scam   Maybe - just maybe - all this talk of lemons is just an elaborate distraction. While we're busy making lemonade, the real players are trading orange futures, monopolising limes and creating genetically modified grapefruit hybrids.  Edward Bernays, considered the father of public relations, was one of the first - and certainly the most famous - to realise that human emotions could be manipulated to drive consumption. Inspired by the psychoanalytic theories of his uncle, Sigmund Freud, Bernays helped create the modern consumer society, where people don't just buy products, but narratives and feelings (Brands).  The market for selling and exploiting pain is a direct reflection of Bernays' ideas: first, discomfort or insecurity is created (whether through the media, advertising or influencers), then a solution is sold that promises to relieve the anguish. In this way, the system not only profits from the problems, but becomes the very creator of them, guaranteeing an endless cycle of consumption. Well, now that you know this, open up your social networks and analyse how products, courses and so on are sold.  So the solution is not just to ‘make more lemonade’ or ‘throw the lemons away’, but to understand the system that puts the lemons on our table. Ask yourself. Who is winning? How can you play the game without being just a pawn? Instead of swallowing forced optimism, learn to negotiate your own terms. If possible, stop buying ready-made lemonades, grow your own orchard and learn to sell your own apples.  Note that the aim of this article is to uncover these ‘moves’. So that when you decide to consume/buy something, it is in fact your conscious choice  and not through a feeling of need that has actually been ‘planted’ in your mind. Human emotions are easily manipulated and the vast majority of the population has no idea what ‘using your head’ actually means.  A Sip of Reality Juice   In my humble opinion as a writer - who has spent far too much time thinking about lemons - I believe it's time we changed this saying. Instead of ‘When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.’, how about: ‘When life gives you lemons, question the agricultural, economic and social system that brought those lemons to you and then consciously decide what to do with them.’ The idea of turning difficulties into opportunities is seductive, in some cases it helps and makes sense, but it's also dangerous. Not everything is a ‘learning experience’ or a ‘life lesson’; sometimes it's just exploitation and/or self-sabotage in disguise. So before you accept the next dose of toxic positivity, ask the essential question: who is profiting from this?  Understand, life is not a fairy tale and the economy of misfortune is real. While many are still trying to turn difficulties into opportunities, there are those who are packaging them up and selling them as a product.  The real power lies in seeing the system and not just playing the game they've created for you.  "We're all puppets Laurie.   I'm just the puppet who can see the strings."   - Dr Manhattan. Now tell me: are you just drinking the lemonade or have you started to wonder who's bottling it?  Whether you liked the text or not, explore more articles here on the blog and keep questioning. Leave a comment, suggest topics, share. And if you want access to the backstage of critical thinking, visit the UN4RT website. Because while some are drinking juice, others are writing the menu. Thanks for your confidence and see you next time for a dose of intellectual vitamin C!   ‘Illusion crumbles when we question reality.’   - UN4RT     Go and do some more research. It's good for you! The sources, inspirations and references are there.   Friedrich Nietzsche , Human, All Too Human and  Beyond Good and Evil. Jean Baudrillard , Simulacra and Simulation. Byung-Chul Han , The Burnout Society. Karl Marx , Capital. Simone de Beauvoir , The Second Sex  and The Ethics of Ambiguity . Niccolo Machiavelli , The Prince . Edward Bernays , publicist and communication theorist who revolutionised marketing and advertising by applying concepts from psychoanalysis to mass behaviour. Freud's nephew, he used ideas from the work ‘Psychology of the Masses and Analysis of the Self’, where Freud explores how individuals lose their rationality when inserted into groups. Bernays transformed this knowledge into strategies for manipulating desires and emotions that still characterise (and have enabled) consumer society today, as described in his book ‘ Propaganda ’. Michael Sandel , The Tyranny of Merit and Justice: What's the Right Thing to Do? Dr Manhattan , character from Watchmen. Portrayed as a divine being who transcends time and space. Michel Foucault , Discipline and Punish .

We're in the digital age! The most comfortable moment in our history, where authenticity is carefully planned while spontaneity is rehearsed like a Shakespearean monologue. Let's just say that happiness is no longer a state of mind but a public performance with the right to edit.  In this new order, the genuine is meticulously calculated and mixed with plastic naturalness to form what we call the social media feed .   ‘We live in a society where simulation precedes and determines the real.’   - Jean Baudrillard.   But calm down, it's not all criticism. We know that, in the midst of the digital stage, there are those who really try to make a difference - yes, they exist, but they are poucos.   The Dance of Fabricated Authenticity   The aesthetic of carelessness requires rigorous planning. It's the same logic as a reality show : spontaneous to a point, scripted to the right degree.  The irony reaches its peak when influencers post ‘real moments’. For example: breakfasts in bed, carefully positioned in the middle of lined sheets and strategically next to flowers or philosophy books (perhaps never read). All of this is done ‘unedited’ but, for some reason, it all follows cinematographic framing and impeccable lighting. The ideal of ‘being real’ has become a new personal marketing goal.  Sartre said ‘Hell is other people’. In the age of social media, hell is other people, yes, but... those with lives that are apparently more perfect than ours. It's hilarious how we all appear to be taking part in an undeclared competition of who can look the happiest, most successful and carefree. But meanwhile, behind the scenes, many are drowning in anxiety and insecurity.  Have we really gained greater freedom of expression with the advent of the web, or have we just become very good at appearing free while the curation of our digital image becomes a new form of slavery?  Ah, it's undeniable how delicious this paradox is. We are encouraged to ‘be ourselves’, but only if that ‘ourselves’ is sufficiently attractive, inspiring and, above all, ‘likeable’.   The Digital Society and its Emotional Currency   In a society of appearances, perfection has become the currency of exchange. The more perfect our lives seem to others, the more valuable we are - regardless of whether or not it's true. Companies, for example, hire people who radiate positivity, regardless of their actual skills. Digital influencers accumulate followers by showing off ‘film’ lives, even if they are as authentic as a 3 Euro note.  As Oscar Wilde once said: ‘Life is too important to be taken seriously’. And, apparently, too superficial to be lived in depth and away from likes.   The Economics of False Happiness   Let's not be naïve. Behind the façade of constant happiness and perfection lies a well-oiled economic machine. Companies sell us products and services that promise instant happiness. From anti-wrinkle creams (or other substances) that guarantee eternal youth to online courses that ensure success in 10 easy steps. We're all buying into illusions and the main one is that happiness is a product that's just a click away. To make things more interesting - and more controversial - let's remember that in 1844, Karl Marx warned about the alienation of the worker. Little did he know that, by 2025, we would be alienated not only from the products of our market, but from ourselves. Today, the digital proletariat produces free content for billionaire corporations in exchange for dopamine (here I am, also part of the wheel - but I have my doubts about the dopamine part). If before we sold our labour power, now we sell our own image. Jean Baudrillard said that we are living in hyperreality, where it no longer matters what is real, but rather what it appears to be. We are not judged by what we are, but by what we manage to stage for a dispersed audience, whose applause is only silent clicks. The Philosophy of Appearances   Friedrich Nietzsche said that ‘Convictions are more dangerous enemies of the truth than lies’. Applying this logic, our conviction in the need to appear happy is more harmful than unhappiness itself.   We are obsessed with showing off a cheerful façade and forget to question what really makes us happy. We've become prisoners of an image that we ourselves have created - and by whose influence?  If Michel Foucault taught us that power manifests itself through the disciplining gaze, then social networks are the new panopticons. Surveillance no longer comes from a central tower, but from the desire to be seen and approved of. And the need to appear spontaneous becomes a new type of social discipline, where everyone watches themselves and adjusts so as not to appear forced in the search for naturalness.  Shopenhauer, who saw life as an eternal frustration of desires, would have an existential crisis when he saw that we now want to be spontaneous and, in order to do so, we follow invisible rules of engagement and personal branding. Our ‘will to live’ has been replaced by an algorithm that dictates which types of performed authenticity are best accepted.   Narciso Updated: Version 5G   The Myth of Narcissus has never been so up-to-date. But instead of a crystal-clear lake, we contemplate ourselves in the filtered reflections of the feed. The original tragedy remains: we were only supposed to love our image, but we end up consumed by it. Freud would call it a modern form of neurosis, while Nietzsche would probably laugh in our faces and say that we're just slaves to a new god: other people's opinions. And if you think the solution is simply to ‘switch off the Wi-Fi’, remember that human anguish didn't start with social networks - it was (and still is) used by them. Pascal already said: ‘All the unhappiness of men comes from one thing alone: being unable to remain alone in their rooms.’ Wi-Fi or not, we're still desperate for meaning.   The Psychology of Like   B. F. Skinner, the father of behaviourism, would be fascinated by social networks. They are the perfect experiment in intermittent reinforcement: you post a photo and, if the likes come in floods, you feel a surge of pleasure. If they're scarce, we suffer a mild withdrawal. The cycle begins again. And who controls the reinforcements? The algorithm.   Meanwhile, Carl Jung would roll his eyes and say: ‘You are not what others think of you.’. But who cares about Jung when engagement is below average?  The Quest for Perfect Imperfection  And here comes a new trend: the quest for perfect imperfection. Yes, you read that right. Now, being authentic means showing ‘your flaws’... but only the pretty ones, of course. A coffee stain on your white shirt? Charming. Dark circles after a bad night's sleep? A sign of a busy and interesting life. A celebrity with cellulite? Wow, she's just like us! What a symbol of empowerment and militancy.  As the philosopher Slavoj Žižek would say, ‘The truly free choice is the one in which I don't just choose between two or more options, but choose to change the set of choices itself’.  In the context of social media, this could mean choosing not just between posting the perfect photo or the ‘authentically imperfect’ photo, but questioning the very need to post.   The Algorithm as the New God   In this new digital pantheon, the algorithm reigns supreme. It is the modern oracle, deciding what we will see, what we will enjoy and, consequently, who we will be. We sacrifice our privacy, our time and often our mental health on the altar of this binary god, waiting for its blessings in the form of likes, shares and followers.   The Irony of Connection in the Age of Loneliness   We're more connected than ever and yet the loneliness epidemic is growing every day. It's as if we were all shouting in a room full of people, but no one was really listening. We post, we like, we comment, but how many of these interactions are truly meaningful? The philosopher Hannah Arendt once said that ‘Organised loneliness is considerably more dangerous than the disorganised impotence of all the dominated’. Could it be that our carefully curated social networks aren't exactly that - a form of organised loneliness?   The Future of Digital Authenticity   So where do we go from here? Will we continue in this never-ending quest for imperfect perfection, or will we find a way to be truly authentic online? One possible answer might be: not to look for an answer. In the words of Oscar Wilde: ‘Be yourself, everyone else already exists’. Or at least, let's try to be ourselves without needing three attempts and a saturation adjustment. Let's embrace chaos, imperfection and real vulnerability - not the edited and filtered versions of life. The rebel in this regard would be the one who switches off their mobile phone and goes to live a life that doesn't need to be documented in order to be validated. Perhaps - and only perhaps - genuine spontaneity lies in the subversive act of not wanting to prove anything to anyone. Or, ironically, in the opposite extreme: assuming that our whole life is a theatre and stop pretending we don't know it. After all, if Shakespeare already said that ‘all the world's a stage...’, why pretend that we're not acting?   Emergency exit?   The aim of this article is not to demonise social networks, but to understand that our self-esteem doesn't have to depend on a volatile number. If Epicurus taught us that true pleasure comes from moderation, perhaps it's time to reprogramme our relationship with digital self-image.  If you've made it this far, congratulations! You've read more than most people can handle without scrolling through their feed.   Conclusion that is not a conclusion Everyone knows that online naturalness died the day the first selfie was taken for the third time. But that doesn't have to be a problem - as long as we're aware of the game. Pretending to be natural has become art, and like all art, it needs to be appreciated with due irony.  What do you think about this paradox of the perfect online life? Leave a comment, share your experiences and suggestions for topics you'd like to see covered here on the blog. Your opinion is valuable and can help other readers navigate this turbulent sea of networks.  Don't forget to share this article with everyone - after all, sharing is caring, even in the digital world!  And if you're hungry for more content that challenges the status quo , why not take a look at our backstage? Visit the UN4RT  website for an exclusive experience with content that goes beyond the surface. See you next time!   ‘Illusion crumbles when we question reality.’   - UN4RT   Yes, yes... the sources, references and inspirations are there, there's no need to be spoilt! From personal experience , my relationship with social media has always been ‘8 or 80’, I either posted a lot or nothing at all. I've even created accounts and then deleted them - quite a few times - and I've lost count of the number of posts I've made and also deleted. For a while, I was deeply repulsed by everything I saw there. I often judged users harshly and disrespectfully. Today - in addition to the opinion you read above - I also have the understanding that everyone is free to do whatever the fuck they want - including me. So go ahead and be happy without giving anyone a hard time. Jean Baudrillard , Simulacra and Simulation. Jean-Paul Sartre , Being and Nothingness  and Nausea. Oscar Wilde , Aphorisms. Karl Marx , Economic & Philosophic Manuscripts of 1844 . Friedrich Nietzsche , Thus Spoke Zarathustra, The Gay Science  and Human, All Too Human . Michel Foucault , Discipline and Punish. Arthur Schopenhauer , The World as Will and Representation . Myth of Narcissus , in Greek mythology, was a young man of extreme beauty who despised those who fell in love with him. As punishment, the gods made him fall in love with his own image reflected in the water. Unable to move away from the water, he withered to death, and in the place of his body was born the flower that bears his name. Sigmund Freud , Civilization and its Discontents. Blaise Pascal , The Pensées (Thoughts). B.   F. Skinner , Science and Human Behaviour. Carl Gustav Jung ,  The Undiscovered Self. Slavoj Žižek , the phrase mentioned in the text does not come from a specific work, but encapsulates recurring themes in the philosopher's work relating to freedom, choice and the transformation of existing conditions. Hannah Arendt , The Origins of Totalitarianism. William Shakespeare , As You Like It. Epicurus , Letter to Meneceus . Tristan Harris , The Dilemma of Networks. Eli Pariser , The Filter Bubble: What the Internet is hidding from you. Nir Eyal ,  Indistractible: How to Control your Attention and Choose your Life. Giuliano da Empoli ,   The Engineers of Chaos.

Ah, the modern mantra: ‘Love yourself as you are’. A phrase as noble as it is hypocritical in a world where Botox is more common than breakfast. Welcome to the circus of self-acceptance, where jugglers balance syringes of facial fillers while reciting their slogans  in defence of self-love. The Myth of Boutique Self-Esteem ‘Know thyself,’ said Socrates. But the industry has reworded this maxim to ‘Know thyself and discover everything that needs improving’. And so a perverse cycle emerges: the idea that self-esteem is not a state of mind, but a seven-step skin-care kit.  The concept of self-esteem has been hijacked and turned into a premium product. Have you ever noticed how beauty campaigns claim that their products will ‘empower us’? That's funny, because real empowerment would never depend on buying a lipstick worth 300 reais.  Although, to a certain extent I understand, because loving yourself as you are doesn't mean embracing skin decay with resignation. In fact, it means recognising that natural perfection is a fallacy and that there are effective ways to perfect the work of chance.  Both we and science know that the human body is a biological machine programmed for obsolescence. Nietzsche already said that ‘...man is something that must be overcome...’ - and as much as we know that he wasn't referring to the Beauty Industry - why not overcome ourselves with a strategic needle of botulinum toxin? What's wrong with that?   We are like sculptors of ourselves, constantly retouching our own art. Michelangelo looked at a block of marble and saw David. We look in the mirror and see a potential upgrade.  Let's just say that all this irony is as palpable as that detox juice we drink to ‘cleanse’ our bodies of the weekend's dietary sins. Hypocrisy Detox   The same society that shouts ‘Love yourself as you are!’ is the same one that worships flawless skin and symmetrically sculpted bodies - not forgetting designer clothes, shoes and accessories, of course. The ‘beauty’ market is not growing by chance. There is a dubious reality where naturalness is exalted - and at the same time - retouched with filters and photo editing software. And then there are the diets designed to ‘lose those unwanted kilos’. Let's take the most sacred of diets as an example. The one that promises real miracles: the detox diet. Anyone who thinks that this diet is only for eliminating toxins (or the guilt of excessive consumption of substances and alcoholic beverages at the weekend) is mistaken. It is also used to cleanse our conscience of hypocrisy and lack of self-responsibility. The Paradox of Aesthetically Enhanced Self-Love Let's just say that ‘loving yourself’ is quite an elastic concept. For some, it means accepting yourself without filters, without make-up and without the help of external interventions. For others, it means accepting yourself to the point of investing in aesthetic enhancement. After all, if you can optimise software , why not optimise your own appearance? Modern self-love is the subtle combination of self-acceptance and surgical self-healing. The Stoics believed that we should accept nature as it is, without resisting its flow. But what if nature itself gave us the technology to defy time? It would be an outrage not to use it. As Oscar Wilde once said, ‘Beauty is a genius in itself. It needs no explanation’. So a well-done lip filler is an act of genius. The Beauty Industry's Greatest Trick Was Convincing You That You're Always Incomplete Let's have a little reflection:   Imagine waking up in the morning and looking in the mirror and discovering that you are... perfect. Yes, perfect, nothing is missing, everything is in place. Your skin naturally glows as if it had been sprinkled with the dew of the gods, your hair has a volume and shine worthy of shampoo commercials, your eyes haven't gone to your knees and your self-esteem is more stable than a monk in a trance. Now, with this image in mind, ask yourself: What would happen to the beauty industry if this were the natural state of things? Simple. It would collapse. The Perpetual Insufficiency Machine The industry's great move has never been just to sell products, but to manufacture needs. As our dear Jean Baudrillard once said, ‘Advertising doesn't sell a product, it sells a lifestyle.’ And what kind of lifestyle is that? One in which you need a new serum, a new acid, a new miracle procedure - which leaves your face in living flesh - so that, one day, you can achieve an ideal that never existed. The truth is that perfection, as a marketable concept, needs to be unattainable for the market to keep going. And for this to happen, the seed of perpetual insufficiency must be planted in us. Something is always missing. If it's firm, perhaps it's symmetry that's missing. If it's symmetrical, then it's time to invest in ‘natural beauty’ - which, ironically, requires an arsenal of cosmetics to look like we're wearing nothing. Beauty as the Most Modern Religion Nietzsche said that ‘God is dead’, and perhaps the beauty industry has taken his place. It has its temples (dermatological clinics and spas), its priests (influencers and beauticians) and its holy scriptures (the promises in adverts and packaging).  It offers you a paradise - a face unmarred by time, an eternally youthful body - but like any well-structured religion, this paradise never actually arrives.  We're always in search, always in penance, always in need of ‘just one more product...’ and/or ‘just lose a few more kilos...’. Self-image and the Mainstream   If Michel Foucault were among us, he might say that the beauty industry doesn't just sell products, but a model of internalised surveillance. We observe, judge and punish ourselves before others do it for us. ‘Is my skin too dull?’, “Does my nose look strange in the light?”, “My forehead is too big, I'd better hide it!”, “I'm too fat...”. We become our own jailers. And don't think that this aesthetic oppression only applies to women. The male market is growing by leaps and bounds. After all, men also need to be convinced that they are imperfect. If deodorant was once enough, now there are moisturisers for ‘male skin’ (as if it were made of titanium), rejuvenating gels and even hair dyes that promise to reverse time - and I'm not even talking about surgeries to enlarge certain parts of the body. The game is the same, only the packaging changes.    What the industry will never tell you   The greatest heresy we can commit against this empire is to realise that we are already complete. That our skin, our features, our little ‘imperfections’ are really just the marks of a life lived. That ageing is not a disease to be fought, but a natural process. That real beauty is not a consumer goal, but a state of being.   ‘Nothing is enough for those who consider little enough.’   - Seneca.   And perhaps the greatest act of rebellion we can commit today is to look in the mirror and simply say: ‘I'm fine the way I am.’ Imperfection as Existential Philosophy The beauty industry has built its fortune on the idea that we are always lacking. Unattainable perfection is its greatest asset and dissatisfaction is its fuel. However, freedom begins when we realise that we don't need to fix anything, because we were never broken. Beauty lies in acceptance - and that, ironically, can't be bought.  Now, if this article has made you rethink your relationship with aesthetics, great! If not, great too! Not least because you're the one who's going to feel the power of the acid on your face (and in your pocket), aren't you?  Leave a comment, suggest topics and share! And if you want an extra dose of information, keep exploring the articles on the blog or go straight to our UN4RT  backstage, where we explore between the lines of culture, art and society. Because at the end of the day, knowledge is the only skin-care  that really lasts and transforms.     ‘The illusion crumbles when we question reality’ - UN4RT     For intellectual masochists, the sources, references and inspirations are there. Go read, study and question! Socrates , Apology of Socrates (written by Plato ). Friedrich Nietzsche , Thus Spoke Zarathustra  and The Gay Science. Botulinumtoxin , a substance produced by the bacterium Clostridium botulinum, used to reduce wrinkles and other medical conditions. Michelangelo , Italian Renaissance artist who created sculptures such as David and Pietà, as well as the frescoes in the Sistine Chapel. Stoics , Ancient Greek philosophers who advocated virtue, reason and self-control as the path to happiness, accepting fate with serenity. Oscar Wilde , The Picture of Dorian Gray. Rodrigo Polesso , Este não é mais um Livro de Dieta (Without English translation). Jean Baudrillard , The Consumer Society . Michel Foucault , Discipline and Punish. Seneca ,  Letters to Lucilius.

‘Hypocrisy is the homage that vice pays to virtue’ - François de La Rochefoucauld.   Welcome to the fascinating world of social hypocrisy, where sincerity is as rare as an honest politician! Get ready to dive into the murky waters of false empathy, because today, we're going to explore the noble art practised by those who pretend to care. A skill that many consider as essential in modern society as the ability to smile and nod while putting up with someone's idiotic behaviour.   *It is important to emphasise that this species has individuals of both sexes.   The Great Theatre of the Self-Interested   Let's pretend that we live in a great social theatre, where many play the most diverse roles, but not everyone deserves a trophy for their performance. In this grand theatre, each individual wears a carefully sculpted mask. This mask - or masks - represent roles that don't always correspond to the true essence of the individual wearing them. Some of these individuals are called ‘’Interested‘’.   They are expert actors who, with rehearsed smiles and mellifluous words, navigate social interactions with the dexterity of a conductor conducting a symphony of falsehood. These specimens are considered ‘the meticulous ones’ within the urban jungle, mastering the art of pretending to care, they build relationships based on convenience rather than genuine empathy. They are true teachers of social theatre, capable of shedding tears with such conviction that even a crocodile would be impressed. Let's just say that they take the art of pretending to care to such a high level that even Stanislavski would be stunned. If you've ever wondered why some people seem so caring until they get what they want - and then evaporate - this guide will help you identify these actors of social tragicomedy.   A Study of Character   The self-interested person is like a chameleon, adapting to the colours and nuances of the environment to gain personal advantage. Their actions are motivated by meticulous calculation, where every gesture of apparent concern comes from a strategic move on the board of human relations. This kind of human moulds himself to our needs, mirroring our tastes, values and even emotions in order to win our trust. They may seem like a loyal friend, a reliable partner or even a helpful colleague, but in reality they are closer to an investor: the support they give us has an expected return. Nietzsche so wisely said: ‘What worries me is not the fact that you lied, but that from now on I will no longer be able to believe you’. The self-interested person doesn't just lie with words, but with attitudes that disguise hidden intentions.   The Dance of Fake Smiles   I've had the displeasure of observing this species in action, and I can tell you that it's like watching an elaborate dance. Each movement is carefully choreographed to create the illusion of genuine interest. The eyes widen in false concern, the eyebrows furrow in feigned consternation and the lips curve into a smile as artificial as diet sugar.  As the philosopher Simone de Beauvoir said, ‘The oppressor would not be so strong if he did not have accomplices among the oppressed themselves.’ And what skilful accomplices the self-interested have! They have expertise  in emotional manipulation and are able to make us believe that we are really important in their lives - at least as long as we are useful.   The Mirror of Narcissus   These individuals often resemble Narcissus, a character from Greek mythology who fell in love with his own image reflected in the water of a lake. The self-interested person sees in others only reflections of their own ambitions and desires. Their interactions are like a game of mirrors, where the projected image is carefully manipulated to deceive and seduce.   Using mental triggers, they involve us in narratives that always culminate in some kind of ‘request’ - make no mistake, otherwise they wouldn't be looking for us. And as if that weren't enough, we often find ourselves offering them precisely what they want, without having even listened to the ‘request’. Let's just say that for them, life is a stage where seriousness is just another mask to be worn at their convenience.   The Siren's Song   Just like the mermaids in Homer's Odyssey, who hypnotised sailors with their songs, love interests use sweet words and empty promises to lure their victims. Their declarations of affection and concern are like bait thrown into the sea, designed to catch those who are looking for reciprocity in an ocean of superficiality. So don't be fooled, their song may be seductive, but it hides an imminent shipwreck.   The Vocabulary of False Interests   They are extraordinary linguists, fluent in the language of simulated concern. They master phrases like ‘Tell me more about that’ and ‘You can always count on me’ as easily as a politician masters the art of not answering direct questions. Nietzsche, who had already prophesied the uncontrolled proliferation of this breed, said: ‘Sometimes people don't want to hear the truth because they don't want their illusions destroyed.’ It is precisely because of these illusions that we often become easy prey for this species.   The Daedalus Labyrinth   Interacting with a self-interested person is like travelling through the Daedalus Labyrinth: every path seems to lead to a dead end and the truth is constantly obscured by intricate webs of lies and dissimulation. Around every corner, we come across new illusions and the way out seems ever more distant. As Franz Kafka said: ‘From a certain point, there is no return. That is the point that must be reached.’ To recognise the self-interested is to reach that point of no return, where naivety is left behind - as is trust.   Classic Signs of an "Interested" Person   Attention on Demand : As long as you're useful, you'll receive messages, compliments and invitations. Afterwards, you'll only hear the echo of silence. Performative Empathy : Rehearsed facial expressions, self-help phrases and perfect timing to offer ‘help’ - as long as there's something to gain, of course. The Strategic Compliment : The self-interested person knows exactly when to inflate your ego, not out of admiration, but to ensure that you continue to provide what they want. Post-Benefit Disappearance : Did you get the favour? Did the vault door open? Has the networking been completed? He disappears like a professional magician - or at least until the next time he needs something. Convenient Memory : He remembers with surgical precision everything he's ever done for you, but suffers from ‘selective amnesia’ and ‘chronic forgetfulness’ when it's your turn to receive something in return. Manipulated Urgency : When he needs something, everything is for ‘yesterday’. But when you ask for something, they become masters of the art of postponing, disappearing or giving vague answers. Flexible Values Alignment : They adapt their tastes, opinions and principles to suit you. As long as you're useful, you'll have ‘everything in common’ and will never differ on anything. Conditional Connection : His friendship is strong and present when you're in a good phase. If things get tough for you, he becomes a distant spectator. Theatrical generosity : He makes a point of appearing generous, especially if he has an audience. They appreciate a show. But if there is no recognition or advantage, the ‘kindness’ disappears. Strategic Victimism : If pressurised for their actions, they play the victim, inverting the situation to appear wronged. It's always the other person's fault, taking responsibility isn't up to them. Tactical Appearances : They follow the saying ‘He who is not seen is not remembered’ to the letter. They may disappear for days or weeks, but magically reappear when they need something or if they think you can offer them something advantageous - if only to hear them complain. One-way partnership : They expect us to make an effort, helping them and understanding them, but when the situation is reversed, they always have an excuse ready for not responding. Oscar Wilde summed it up very well: ‘Some people cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.’   How to Survive the Theatre of Hypocrisy?   Be wary of Perfection : If someone always seems to know what to say and when to say it, it could be acting - it's essential to be attentive and aware in our relationships. Reciprocity Test : Interested parties don't like relationships without advantages. Observe how they react when they have to do something without immediate feedback. Ask them to do something and see what excuses they use not to do it. Avoid being a ‘Banquet of Favours’ : Don't always be available and don't do anything out of obligation. The self-interested take advantage of excessive generosity. Watch the Timing : They appear with the precision of Swiss watches when they need something and disappear with the same precision when we need them.   Observe Coherence : Fine words without concrete actions are just a well-rehearsed script. Make sure your actions match your speech. Beware of Emotional Neediness : Interested people love people who need approval. The less dependent you are, the less room there is for manipulation. Value Authenticity, not  Flattery: Those who flatter too much may be preparing the ground for a request. Prefer someone who compliments without ulterior motives. Setting Clear Limits : The more we give in, the more we will be exploited. We must learn to say ‘no’ without guilt. Notice the Pattern, Not the Episode : Everyone can fail occasionally, but if someone always disappears when there's no advantage involved, that's no coincidence. Don't fall for Emotional Blackmail : Interested parties use guilt and victimisation to keep us in the position of constant givers. We shouldn't get carried away with sob stories when the pattern is already clear. Detachment from the Need for Approval : The more we seek to be accepted by everyone, the more vulnerable we are to being used. Being selective means being with those who truly value our presence. Preference for Balanced Relationships : If we always give more than we receive, perhaps it's time to re-evaluate this behaviour and consequently who is benefiting from it.   Virginia Wolf said: ‘Each of us faces an internal battle, and language is often insufficient to express our true intentions.’ So let's be attentive, especially to ourselves, because if people like this have approached us, it's because we've given them the opportunity. What we can really change in all of this is our way of thinking, feeling and acting. The Symphony of Falsehood   This art of pretending to care may even be a skill refined by those who seek to manipulate the emotions and expectations of others for their own benefit. It's undeniable that identifying the self-interested requires an attentive and critical eye - especially on ourselves - in order to be able to see beyond the masks and carefully constructed illusions. We know that genuine relationships are not based on transactions, but on real, mutual connections. For as Socrates once said: ‘An unquestioned life is not worth living’. So let's question the intentions behind actions and look for sincerity between the lines of words. After all, to be a ‘good person’ who helps and really cares about others doesn't mean - not in the slightest - that we have to be a fool! We only receive what we allow. What the other person does is about them, what we accept is about us. There is a difference between what the other person does and what we allow! Here, too, is an extremely important note : Don't penalise yourself for having nurtured a relationship with a self-interested person - regardless of how long it may have lasted. We don't have the power to change others or past situations, but we can change ourselves. With that in mind, let's not waste our precious time looking for justifications and/or explanations from these people. If you don't have the chance to walk away, perhaps you can choose to smile, nod and feign dementia - you don't owe anyone an explanation for your actions, except those you believe you do. In the end, it's best to see this as an incentive to focus on what really matters: your life and your projects/dreams. It's never too late to remember that ‘Happy people don't get bored’, so go after your own happiness and leave those people to their own devices. ‘He is a fool who misses the target and blames the bow instead of correcting his aim.’   - Sun Tzu. Time for Action! Have you ever found yourself performing on the stage of false concern? Or perhaps you've fallen victim to a master of the art of pretending to care? Leave a comment with your experiences and share this content with anyone who needs to open their eyes to the theatre of hypocrisy.  And if you want to explore even more behind the scenes of human relationships and have access to exclusive content, visit UN4RT , the backstage that doesn't wear masks.  Until next time and remember: in a world of self-interested people, the real rebel is the one who genuinely cares. But ssshiiii, don't spread the secret - after all, I have a reputation for cynicism to maintain!   ‘Illusion crumbles when we question reality.’   - UN4RT     The sources, inspirations and references are there! Personal experience : some were extremely painful because they came from people I really considered friends. François de La Rochefoucauld , Maxims. Konstantin Stanislavski  was a Russian actor, director and theatre theorist who created the Stanislavski System, a revolutionary method of acting based on emotional truth and the psychological construction of characters. His work had a profound influence on modern theatre and cinema. Friedrich Nietzsche , Thus Spoke Zarathustra  and Beyond Good and Evil . Simone de Beauvoir , The Second Sex . Narcissus , In Greek mythology, he was a young man of extreme beauty who despised those who fell in love with him. As punishment, the gods made him fall in love with his own image reflected in the water. Unable to move away from the water, he withered to death, and in the place of his body was born the flower that bears his name. Homer , The Odyssey. Labyrinth of Daedalus , a construction from Greek mythology, designed by the architect Daedalus at the behest of King Minos of Crete. It was created to imprison the Minotaur. Franz Kafka , The Trial (published posthumously). Oscar Wilde , The Picture of Dorian Gray. Virginia Woolf , A Room of One's Own. Socrates , Apology of Socrates (written by Plato ). Sun Tzu , The Art of War.

Idiots are omnipresent creatures that seem to sprout from the ground like weeds. Let's just say that the noble art of dealing with other people's stupidity without losing shreds of your own sanity has become a survival skill these days. Anyone who thinks it's just a question of patience is mistaken. No, it's a philosophical discipline and a stoic practice in times of social media. A veritable mental academy for those who insist on keeping at least two neurons working in sync. In this article we're going to explore the essential skill of navigating the raging sea of everyday idiocy without losing your head - well... at least that's the proposal.   The Silent Epidemic We Pretend Not to See   Perhaps the only truly renewable and inexhaustible resource on the planet is human idiocy, and nobody who lives among people can deny that fact.  Albert Einstein had already warned us when he said: ‘Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. And I'm not sure about the universe’. Never has a scientific phrase been so prophetic and, at the same time, so empirically verifiable in everyday life.  But what defines a modern idiot? Well, we're not referring here to those with a low level of education or who have some cognitive limitation. We're talking about the kind of contemporary idiocy that is much more sophisticated and democratic - which also affects PhDs, CEOS, politicians, influencers  with millions of followers and even that aunt who has an opinion on international geopolitics based exclusively on chat app audios.   The Idiot: A Species in Constant Evolution   This fascinating creature that, like a social chameleon, adapts to any environment, always finds new ways to test our patience. As the philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre once said: ‘Hell is other people.’ And frankly, sometimes it seems that hell is so overcrowded that a few specimens are roaming free in the midst of paradise. But let's not rush to judgement. After all, as Socrates wisely observed, ‘I only know that I know nothing’. Perhaps, in our arrogance, we don't realise that we are also someone's idiots. That's why it's crucial to recognise the different species that inhabit the world. Arhur Shopenhauer, a 19th century German philosopher, warned about the proliferation of mediocre works and the importance of thinking for yourself, avoiding the mechanical reproduction of other people's ideas.   Manual for Recognising Social Fauna Species   If we were to create a taxonomy of human idiocy, we would need several volumes and an interdisciplinary team of anthropologists, psychologists and comedians. However, we can highlight some particularly common species:  The Donkey :  this is the person who, despite being surrounded by information on all sides, is unable to ‘join the dots’. This is the individual who takes part in a democratic demonstration calling for the return of the dictatorship, without even realising the blatant contradiction in their actions. Their capacity for reasoning is so limited that it's almost comical, if not tragic.  The Cool Idiot :  This is the guy who reads what the ‘mercenary idiot’ writes and repeats his ideas in the hope of being socially accepted. He shows off his blog and newspaper readings as trophies, using other people's ideas to appear intelligent. He follows the dominant trend without question, striving to be fashionable, but without originality or critical thinking.  The Paranoid Knowledge Representative :  Also popularly called the Mercenary Idiot. This type may be a genius in certain respects, but his lack of doubt makes him an idiot. He has absolute certainties and sees monsters to be slaughtered in any idea that challenges his convictions. His inability to experiment with other ways of looking at the world mortifies his intelligence, bringing him closer to ‘The Donkey’ and ‘ Cool Idiot’.  The Undefeated Mansplainer :  the one who explains his own field of expertise to you in minute detail - even if you are literally the ultimate authority on the subject. Like the man who tries to explain to a neuroscientist how the brain works based on a half-watched internet documentary.  The Social Media Expert :  A graduate of the prestigious University of Social Media, this species has a doctorate in ‘I Researched’ and a post-doctorate in ‘I Watched a Video’. Their sources are always ‘reliable’, although they can never be named or verified.  The Compulsive Opinionator :  Suffers from a rare condition where silence causes physical pain (some say I belong to this species). They need to give their opinion on absolutely everything, especially subjects of which they don't have the most basic knowledge.  The Selective Negationist :  Accepts all the science that allows them to use smartphones , GPS and antibiotics, but vehemently rejects the same scientific methodologies when the results contradict their personal beliefs.  The Chronic Interrupter :  Someone who considers their speech to be infinitely more important than yours, regardless of the context. They firmly believe that conversations are competitions where the one who speaks the loudest or for the longest wins.  The Philosophy of Tolerance for Idiots: A Historical Perspectiv   The question of how to deal with other people's idiocy is not a new one. Philosophers from different eras have racked their brains (and possibly wanted to rack their brains) over this dilemma.  Socrates, a master of irony, developed his method of asking questions not to teach, but to gently expose the ignorance of his interlocutors. His elegant way of saying: ‘You don't know what you're talking about, but I'll let you find out for yourself’ is legendary. It was a passive-aggressive approach avant la lettre  that would still be useful today at family gatherings.  Our friend Shopenhauer, with his characteristic optimism (pure irony), declared that ‘...stupidity in itself is not painful; the pain comes when stupidity collides with intelligence...’ Basically, we only suffer from idiots because, unfortunately, we're not one of them. The German philosopher suggested isolation as a solution - advice that has gained unprecedented viability in the home office  era (oh, glory!).  Hannah Arendt, on the other hand, in her analysis of the banality of evil, offers us a disturbing perspective: often idiocy is not the result of malice, but of a lack of critical thinking. As she observed when analysing Eichmann: ‘The problem with Eichmann was precisely that many were like him and many were neither perverts nor sadists, but were and still are terrifyingly and frighteningly normal.’ A reflection that makes us wonder if the real idiot isn't just someone who has outsourced their thinking.   Simone de Beauvoir, with her characteristic lucidity, stated that ‘No one is more arrogant towards women than a man who is insecure about his own intelligence.’ An observation that could be expanded to: no one is more assertive in their opinions than the man who has studied the subject the least.   Tolerance: An Exercise in Mental Health   Tolerating idiots is like practising yoga in a minefield: it requires balance, concentration and the constant awareness that one false move can result in a catastrophic explosion - for our nerves. It's a daily exercise in patience, a mental gymnastics that would make even Buddha question his life choices. The brilliant Dorothy Parker said, ‘The only cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity’. Perhaps this is the secret: to face other people's idiocy with anthropological curiosity. Maybe then we can turn our frustration into a fascinating study of the human capacity to be... well, human.   Practises for Mental Survival   Now that we've understood the problem and identified the different types of idiots, the question remains:  How can we deal with them without losing our sanity and/or developing an ulcer?  Digital Buddha technique :  Practise informational detachment. Not every wrong opinion needs to be corrected, nor does every absurd post deserve your comment. As the contemporary (and fictional) philosopher Tyler Durden would say: ‘It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.’ - including ignoring idiocy.  Adapted Socratic Method :  Ask yourself: ‘Does this discussion bring me joy?’. If the answer is no, mentally thank yourself and discard the interaction. Apply minimalism to your social interactions.  Stoic Distancing :  As Marco Aurelio taught us, ‘You have power over your mind, not over external events. Realise this and you will find strength’. Remember that the other person's idiocy doesn't have to contaminate our mental state.  The Anthropologist's Strategy :  Observe behaviour like a scientist studying an exotic culture. ‘Fascinating how this specimen forms opinions without any empirical evidence. Remarkable example of magical thinking in 21st century adults.’  Carpenting a Plot to Sow Patience :  We must remember that not everyone has had the same opportunities for learning or critical development. Patience is a virtue that allows us to deal with the ignorance of others without becoming exasperated.  Laugh, Even If You're Nervous :  Humour is a powerful tool for defusing tense situations. A good-humoured response can neutralise idiocy and get a laugh out of those present.  The Art of Not Reading :  Schopenhauer said that life is short and we should avoid reading bad books. In the same way, we can avoid paying attention to idiotic opinions that add nothing of value to our lives. Go Do Something Worthwhile :  Just like flowers that fulfil their destiny by blooming in their own time, we should concentrate on what really matters, without letting ourselves be distracted by other people's idiocy.  Miss Candidate Method :  Smile, wave - and feign dementia. Not every battle is worth fighting. Sometimes it's wiser to leave the idiot in his ignorance than to try to convince him otherwise. So let's swallow our advice and let everyone go to hell as they please.  Simultaneous Translation Technique :  When confronted with a particularly exasperating piece of idiocy, try translating it into a language you don't understand. Suddenly, that absurd opinion on politics becomes a fascinating linguistic exercise in Klingon .   When Patience Ends: The Limit of Tolerance   Nietzsche has a phrase that I like a lot, which is: ‘If you stare long enough into an abyss, the abyss will also stare into you’. By tolerating idiots, don't we run the risk of becoming a bit of an idiot ourselves? Or does this exposure make us wiser, more patient, more... human? There always comes a point, however, when tolerating becomes colluding. As Karl Popper reminds us in ‘The Paradox of Tolerance’: a tolerant society without limits will eventually be destroyed by the intolerant. The same applies to our mental sanity. Some forms of idiocy transcend the annoying and enter dangerous territory: denialism that puts lives at risk, deliberate disinformation, prejudice disguised as ‘opinion’, dogmas dressed up as truths. In these cases, silence isn't gold - it's complicity. As Audre Lorde tried to teach us, ‘...your silence will not protect you...’ - much less your ignorance. Sometimes confronting idiocy is not just a matter of preference, but of ethical necessity. The trick is to choose our battles wisely, like a general who knows he can't win every war, but can select the most strategic battlefields.   The Science of Idiocy (Yes, There Is One)   To better understand how to deal with idiocy and thus choose the best strategy, it's worth examining what science has to say on the subject.  Analytical psychology offers us insights  into why intelligent people sometimes act like complete idiots. Confirmation Bias causes us to only seek out information that confirms what we already believe. It's like having a filter in our brains that only lets through what agrees with our worldview - the mental equivalent of only following people who agree with you and only say what you want to hear. Any resemblance to how the social media algorithm works is purely coincidental (haha OK).  The Backfire  Effect is even more perverse: when confronted with evidence that contradicts their beliefs, some people not only reject the new information, but reinforce their ‘original’ convictions even more. It's as if the brain activates a defence system against inconvenient facts, creating an impenetrable fortress of idiocy. Take a look at what your brain's Reticular Activating System (RAS) means.  Neuroscientist Robert Sapolsky suggests that when we feel threatened in our fundamental beliefs, our brain reacts in a similar way to a physical threat - activating fight or flight mechanisms that literally switch off parts of the prefrontal cortex responsible for critical thinking. In other words: idiocy is often the brain in panic mode, not necessarily a lack of intellectual capacity.  Understanding these mechanisms doesn't make idiocy any less annoying, but it can help us develop more compassion - or at least, less of a desire to commit a non-bailable offence after discussing politics or religion with someone.  Art as Refuge and Resistance   But it's when all strategies fail that we're left with artistic sublimation. Art has always been a refuge from human stupidity, whether through humour, literature or music. Mark Twain once said: ‘Against stupidity, the gods themselves fight in vain’. But where the gods fail, comedians thrive. Humour is perhaps the most powerful tool for processing idiocy without going mad. It's no coincidence that some of the best humourists have emerged in particularly challenging times or societies. Literature offers us company on this journey. From Don Quixote fighting windmills to Machado de Assis's ‘The Alienist’ questioning who really is crazy in an insane society, books remind us that our fight against human stupidity is timeless and universal. As Virginia Wolf wrote: ‘If you don't tell the truth about yourself, you can't tell it about other people’. Perhaps the antidote to idiocy begins with honest self-questioning. After all, we all have our moments of sublime stupidity and recognising this is perhaps the first step towards developing genuine empathy.   The Positive Side of Other People's Idiocy   Believe it or not, there is a positive side to being surrounded by idiots. They provide us:  Endless material for anecdotes. A sense of intellectual superiority (often illusory). Opportunities to play the good Samaritan by practising our patience and compassion. A renewed appreciation for intelligent people.  As Oscar Wilde once said, ‘The world is a stage, but the cast is lousy’. So let's look at it as a comedy rather than a tragedy. Better, eh?   Survival in the Apocalypse of Reason   Tolerating idiots without losing your sanity is not just a social skill - it's an art form, a spiritual discipline and, in some cases, an act of political resistance. As Camus would say, we should imagine Sisyphus happy, even as he eternally rolls his stone up a mountain. In the same way, we must find some joy in the absurd task of living with human idiocy without becoming irreparable cynics (ha, say it myself). True wisdom perhaps lies in accepting that none of us is immune to the occasional idiot. As contemporary philosopher Alain de Botton reminds us, ‘To be human is to suffer from a peculiar amnesia about our own faults while keeping in crystal clear memory the faults of others.’ So tolerating idiots doesn't mean passively accepting idiocy. It means recognising that, behind absurd opinions and irritating behaviour, there are human beings who are complex, fallible and - on some level - just as confused as we are about how to navigate this world. And if that sounds too Zen for you, remember that it's perfectly acceptable, from time to time, to take a day out to shout into your pillow. In my opinion, the real art lies not in tolerating idiots, but in finding the delicate balance between compassion and self-preservation. Between understanding human limitations and setting healthy boundaries. Between not losing patience and not losing yourself. And perhaps most importantly: learning to laugh at the absurdity of the human condition - including our own contribution to the great circus of collective folly.   Invitation to Reflection (and Action)   How have you dealt with the idiots around you without committing a crime or needing intensive care? Do you have any special techniques or are you already considering moving to a remote cave?  Feel free to share your experience or your mental survival strategies in the comments - after all, we're all on this journey to sanity in insane times together. And of course, if this content resonated with you, share it with friends and family.  But if you thought this article was just the tip of the iceberg  of human insanity, don't forget to visit the UN4RT  website, our intellectual and artistic backstage  where madness and genius meet in exclusive content that will make your brain hurt.  And remember: in a world of idiots, being sane is the real madness. So let's embrace our collective insanity and laugh at the absurdity of existence. After all, as the great anonymous philosopher from a bar in Kreuzberg  would say: ‘If we can beat them, how about confusing them with our genius disguised as idiocy?’   ‘Illusion crumbles when we question reality.’   - UN4RT   Well, if you're still there, trying to prove to yourself that you're not an idiot, the sources, references and inspirations for this article are here.   Albert Einstein , the quote is often attributed to the theoretical physicist known for developing the Theory of Relativity, although there is no definitive record of where or when he said it. Jean-Paul Sartre , quote from ‘ Huis Clos ’, English as ‘ No Exit ’, a play written by the philosopher. Socrates ,  Apology of Socrates (written by Plato ) and the Socratic Method. Arthur Schopenhauer , The Art of Literature, Aphorisms for the Wisdom of Life and The World as Will and Representation. Avant la lettre , a French expression that literally means ‘before the letter’ or ‘before the name’. It is used to describe something or someone that already had characteristics of a concept or movement before that concept was formally named or defined. Hannah Arendt , Eichmann in Jerusalem: An Account of the Banality of Evil. Adolf Eichmann , a Nazi officer who was one of the main people responsible for the logistics of the Holocaust. He was famously tried in Jerusalem in 1961. Simone de Beauvoir , The Second Sex. Buddha  was Siddartha Gautama, a prince and philosopher who lived in India between the 6th and 5th centuries BC and is considered the ‘founder’ of Buddhism. Dorothy Parker , the quote in this article is usually attributed to the American writer and poet known for her acid humour, but there is no concrete evidence. Tyler Durden , a fictional character from the book ‘ Fight Club ’ by Chuck Palahniuk . Marcus Aurelius , Meditations. Klingon , language spoken by the alien warrior race The Klingons from the Star Trek universe. Friedrich Nietzsche , Beyond Good and Evil. Karl Popper , The Open Society and its Enemies. Audre Lorde , Sister Outsider . Confirmation Bias , the human tendency to seek out, interpret and remember information in a way that confirms our pre-existing beliefs, while ignoring or discarding data that contradicts them. The Backfire Effect , or Rebound Effect, is a psychological phenomenon in which, when confronting deeply held beliefs with contrary evidence, people not only reject the new information, but further reinforce their convictions. This is because accepting opposing ideas requires greater cognitive effort, generating emotional discomfort. Reticular Activating System (RAS) , a network of neurons that acts as a ‘brain filter’, deciding which stimuli deserve our attention and which can be ignored. Robert Sapolsky , Behave: The Biology of Humans at Our Best and Worst. Mark Twain , the quote is often attributed to the American writer and humourist, although it is also attributed to the German poet Friedrich Schiller. Don Quixote , mad nobleman, protagonist of the novel " Don Quixote de la Mancha" , written by the Spaniard Miguel de Cervantes . Machado de Assis , The Alienist. Virginia Woolf , A Room of One's Own . Oscar Wilde , there is no record that the phrase is actually by the Irish writer. The quote may be an ironic version of Shakespeare's famous quote in " As You Like It ": ‘All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players.’. Albert Camus , The Myth of Sisyphus. Thomas Bulfinch , The Golden Age of Myth & Legend . Sisyphus ,   a character from Greek mythology, known for his cunning and for deceiving the gods. Alain de Botton , How Proust Can Change Your Life. Kreuzberg ,  is one of Berlin's most famous neighbourhoods. It is part of the Friedrichschain-Kreuzberg district and is known for its diversity, alternative art scene and lively nightlife.

(Warning to the unwary : This text contains sarcasm, irony and acid humour. Prepare some boldo tea! You'll need it). We all love the sweet illusion that the world, or even life, owes us something. Well, sit back and get ready for a hefty dose of reality.  Yes, this pill is bitter and many refuse to swallow it, preferring to live in a world of frustrated expectations and constant disappointments. But the time has come to wake up from this childish dream and face the ‘real world’. So let's start by ‘setting fire to the playground’.   The Fallacy of Deserving   From an early age, we are fed lies. Wait a minute, I'll explain: we come to believe the idea that if we behave properly, Santa Claus - the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and others - will bring us presents. So we grow up and swap the good old man (and the others) for other figures: bosses, partners, friends... Extremely convenient! It's a good thing we've learnt, isn't it? We've come to believe that if we follow all these rules, we'll be rewarded.  But to make this clearer, let's take a simple example:  Imagine the universe as a huge cosmic restaurant. You walk in, sit down at a table and wait anxiously for the waiter to come round with a smile on his face and a menu full of wonders. Well, surprise , surprise ! There's no waiter. There's no menu. In fact, there isn't even a kitchen. Welcome to Planet Earth! In this restaurant, you are the  chef , the waiter and the customer. So if you want to eat, you'll have to get off the sofa and prepare your own meal.  As the sarcastic philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche would say: ‘You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way and the only way, there is no such thing.’ In other words, no one is going to serve up your happiness on a silver platter.  Hannah Arendt gave us an interesting perspective when she said: ‘No one has the right to obey.’. To paraphrase more acidly: no one has the right to expect life to be fair, simply because they have decided to be a decent person.  ‘Life isn't fair and because of that we don't get what we really deserve’ - a Buddhist proverb I've just made up, but which could well be true.  Yes, all this may sound quite ridiculous, but that's exactly how many of us act.   Universal Debt and Expectations   Many of us grew up believing that the world owed us something. Perhaps it's happiness, success, love or simply fair treatment. But, as the brilliant and acidic Dorothy Parker once said: ‘Gratitude is a canine disease.’ And, apparently, expectation is a human pandemic. Think about it for a moment: if everyone believed that the world owed them something, who would be the universal creditor? It would be like a cosmic pyramid scheme, where everyone expects to receive, but no one is willing to give. And this is where an inconvenient truth comes in: the more we expect something from others, the less we will be satisfied. It's like trying to squeeze water out of a stone - you'll only end up with skinned fingers and a stone that now hates you. The British writer Virginia Wolf said: ‘There is no barrier, no lock, no bolt that you can impose on the freedom of my mind.’ We are, however, masters of creating mental prisons and the greatest of these is the expectation that others owe us something. We expect our friends to understand us without us having to speak, our partners to anticipate our desires and the world to reward us for simply existing. I'll be honest: nobody is thinking about you as much as you're thinking about yourself. People are busy dealing with their own lives, insecurities and dilemmas. To think that they have the time or the obligation to meet our expectations is - to say the least - self-centred. The freedom of letting go   Now, before you fall into a pit of existential despair (although this can be quite invigorating from time to time), consider the positive side of this apparent cosmic nihilism. If nobody owes us anything, we don't owe anybody anything either. Freedom! We are free to create, to fail, to try again, without being bound by the chains of other people's expectations and also of a recognition that may never come. We can live according to our own values and desires, without the need for external approval. Because - seriously - happy people don't waste their time filling other people's bags. So if someone decides to bother you, know that they certainly don't have anything else to do and yes, they are unhappy - even if unconsciously. It's as simple as that! The philosopher Simone de Beauvoir astutely said: ‘Let nothing define us. Let nothing subject us. Let freedom be our very substance.’ And the irreverent Oscar Wilde also observed: ‘Be yourself; everyone else is already busy.’ If nobody owes us anything, we have all the freedom in the world to be exactly who we are and/or who we want to become. The Irony of 100% Responsibility   It's ironic and peculiar how, when we give up the idea that the world owes us something, we start to take full responsibility for our lives. We can no longer afford to outsource the blame, because this business of blaming fate, the stars or our neighbours for bad things - good things or even things that don't happen at all - simply ceases to have any value, it disappears. We are, in fact, the architects of our destiny, because we build it over time through our actions (choices). As the Greek philosopher Epictetus said: ‘It is not things that disturb us, but the opinion we have of them’. So by changing our perspective and accepting that nobody owes us, we can focus on what really matters: our actions and our reactions. Let's say that with this change of attitude, we turn expectation into action, hope into planning and ‘why me?’ into ‘why not me?’. Let's say that we start to resemble Schrödinger's famous cat, but with the big difference: instead of being alive or dead in a box, we are simultaneously free and responsible for our own existence. That's a fascinating and terrifying idea, isn't it?   The Great Paradox   The most interesting, curious and ironic thing is that when we stop expecting the world to owe us something, that's when we start to receive more from it. That's right, that old philosophy of Letting Go in order to Receive.  Let's take a practical, real-life example:  During the years I lived in Berlin, I worked as a bartender  in a bar in Kreuzberg . Usually, at the end of the working day - between 3am and 5am - I would go to another bar in the neighbourhood. There I would sit by the bar, sipping a cocktail  while smoking and reading a book. Anyone who thinks I went to this place in search of interaction with humans is mistaken - I didn't give a damn about anyone. But on the very nights when I most wanted to be left alone, an absurd number of strangers would try to strike up a conversation. Often with the most ludicrous ‘reasons’, ranging from asking to borrow a lighter to asking what I was reading and in what language. One memorable evening I found myself giving love advice to a stranger who wanted to light my cigarette with his own lighter - he wasn't even a smoker!  The brilliant Marie Curie, who certainly didn't expect the world to hand her scientific discoveries on a radioactive platter, said:  ‘Nothing in life is to be feared, only understood.   Now is the time to understand more in order to fear less."   Survival in the Real World With Marie Curie's quote in mind, I've come up with these small, simple steps - nobody says you have to follow them! Don't expect applause or a pat on the back for doing the minimum (or the maximum). If you decide to do something, do it of your own free will. Learn to say No. Study and learn to question. Knowledge frees you from being a fool. Stop doing things out of obligation and do them by choice. If you want to see something realised, then be ready to do what needs to be done. Accept that gratitude is a bonus, not an obligation. You control nothing but your thoughts, feelings and actions. Don't let the important things become urgent. Forgiveness is not a feeling, it's a choice. Complaints are declarations of love for problems, so don't waste your time on them. Stop giving advice that you don't follow. Go and look after your own life and leave other people's lives alone. If your speech has nothing to contribute, stay silent. What other people think about you is their business, not yours. So don't try to convince anyone of anything.   The philosophy of ‘So what?’   As Nietzsche declared (yes, him again) before he went mad (or became fully conscious): ‘What doesn't kill me makes me stronger’. Well, he may have gone mad, but the point is still valid. Life will continue to owe us nothing, and the sooner we accept that, the sooner we can start building something meaningful. Buuuuut maybe - and just maybe - we owe life something. Does that frighten or relieve you? Because if we do owe something to our life, what are we doing to ‘clear that debt’? Are we becoming what we'd really like to become? Or are we just content to follow models previously established by people whose intentions we don't even know? Here's a thought.   Summary for the Impatient   The world owes you nothing. No satisfaction, no explanation, no fulfilment. The only person who has any obligation to you is yourself. And that, paradoxically, is the best news you could ever receive.   My opinion on all this As someone who has expected a lot from the world and learnt the hard way, I can tell you that understanding that nobody owes you anything is the first step towards a more conscious and less frustrated life. Is it painful? Yes. Is it necessary? Absolutely.  So don't see it as a sentence of hopelessness, but an invitation to autonomy. This is the key to the cage you built yourself. It's the permission you never knew you needed to live your life on your own terms.  In my humble and slightly sarcastic opinion, embracing this ‘truth’ is like taking a shot of reality with a twist of freedom - it burns instantly, but leaves you feeling lighter and possibly dancing with much more ease.  Now, how about leaving the comfort zone of expectations and diving into the ocean of action? If this article has shaken you up (or your ego), you might like to explore more provocative content here on the blog.  Feel free to leave your comments, suggestions and even share this article with those who also think there's a great conspiracy where the universe is plotting a personal vendetta  against us. And, of course, share it with that friend who is still waiting for the universe to pay his bills.  However, if you're someone who really thirsts for more content that challenges your perceptions and perhaps even your sanity, be sure to venture into our UN4RT  backstage. There, we go beyond the surface and dive even deeper into these uncomfortable concepts.  PS : If you've got this far and are feeling personally attacked, great. That was the intention. Now go do something about it, because, well... no one will do it for you.   ‘Illusion crumbles when we question reality.’   - UN4RT   Well, well, well... if you're like me and like to dig deep into things like there's no tomorrow - the sources, references and inspirations for this article are there. Go and read it. Just don't complain later and say I didn't warn you. Santa Claus , a character whose origins are linked to the figure of St Nicholas of Myra, a bishop born in Turkey in 280 AD. The present-day image was popularised by illustrations in the 19th century and in 1930 by advertising campaigns for a famous soft drink brand. Easter Rabbit , The rabbit is a symbol associated with fertility and rebirth, originating in ancient Egypt, where the rabbit represented new life. The tradition also relates to the worship of the gods of spring and fertility, such as the goddess Ostara, whose symbol was the rabbit. Tooth Fairy , a mythical figure that forms part of a children's tradition in various countries. Friedrich Nietzsche , Thus Spoke Zarathustra, Twilight of the Idols and  Human, All Too Human. Hannah Arendt , Responsibility and Judgement. Dorothy Parker , American writer and poet known for her acid humour. Virginia Woolf , A Room of One's Own. Simone de Beauvoir , The Second Sex. Oscar Wilde ,   the quote in the text is often attributed to the Irish writer known for his sharp humour, but there is no concrete record of it actually being written or said by him. Epictetus , The Handbook (Enchiridion). Schrödinger's Cat  i s a metaphorical experiment created by physicist Erwin Schrödinger in 1935 to illustrate a paradox in quantum mechanics. The experiment illustrates the concept of quantum superposition, which suggests that until a system is observed, it can exist in multiple states at the same time. Berlin  is the capital of Germany and one of the most important cities in Europe. With a rich history, the city has been the centre of momentous events. Today, Berlin is known for its cultural diversity, vibrant nightlife, street art and tourist attractions. Bartender   is the professional responsible for preparing and serving drinks in bars, restaurants, nightclubs and events. As well as mixing cocktails, they must also be familiar with preparation techniques, flavour combinations and often offer customers an interactive experience. Kreuzberg  is one of Berlin's most famous neighbourhoods. It is part of the Friedrichschain-Kreuzberg district and is known for its diversity, alternative art scene and intense nightlife . Marie Curie , a Polish scientist who became a French citizen and pioneered the study of radioactivity. She was the first woman to win a Nobel Prize and the only one to receive the award in two different categories. Vendetta , a word that comes from Italian and means revenge. It is used to describe a prolonged quest for retaliation, usually involving family disputes or between rival groups. Mark Manson , The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. Ayn Rand , Atlas Shrugged.

Ah, self-esteem! An abstract concept, but also so material. So much so that it's the cause of countless stumbles, mistakes and shame. We've all heard of it, but how many of us really know what it means? More importantly, how many of us know how to cultivate it?   So if you, like me, are one of those who have always seen this word only as a nice term, often used in photo captions and therapeutic conversations, but never as something practical, then let's go! Let's take a look at it from a different (and somewhat naughty) perspective.   What is self-esteem? Let's start with the meaning of this word according to the dictionary: Self-esteem is the characteristic of a person who values themselves and is satisfied with their appearance. Let's say that self-esteem is like the value we place on ourselves, the way we see ourselves and the way we feel about ourselves. Many people confuse self-esteem with arrogance or egotism, when in fact good self-esteem means having a healthy sense of self-confidence and self-respect.   Just reading the definition of this word is reason enough for most of us to laugh our noses off. To this day I haven't met a woman who says she's satisfied with the way she looks. So I don't know about you, but I think this is far from what should be considered normal. I myself suffered for years from the unrealistic ‘demands’ of what my physical shape should be in order to be acceptable and/or attractive in my eyes and in the eyes of others. That thought alone is absurd to me today. But, unfortunately, this is still a reality: in the year 2025, after humanity created AI, physical appearance is still what generates the most comments (and the biggest gains).   You don't have to take my word for it. Look at the adverts, what elements are most present in them? Where are the greatest varieties of consumer goods (at all levels)? And on social media, everyone knows what influencers  are, the ones with the most followers are the ones who influence what?   Just as there is a huge difference between thinking and having thoughts, the same "phenomenon" applies between seeing and observing. Sherlock Holmes used to say: "You see, but you don't observe.   The difference is clear."   Perhaps our friend Epictetus would say:  ‘It is not the things themselves that disturb us, but the opinions we have of them’.  Which translates into english: it's not the fact that you tripped in front of the person you're in love with that's a problem, but the fact that you think it makes you the biggest idiot in the universe.   The beloved and misunderstood Nietzsche would amend this with a resounding "Become who you are" . This phrase, which is as enigmatic as a poem by T. S. Eliot, reminds me that true freedom lies in accepting and cultivating your own uniqueness, no matter how contradictory and meaningless it may seem to others. The many faces of self-esteem The different lines of thought and their most diverse approaches "always boast" that they are the solution to problems related to self-esteem. In light of this and in order to satisfy our desire to know what others think, let's take a look at some of them. With all due respect, of course (or lack thereof).   Let's start with Stoicism. Founded by Zeno of Scythia, around 300 BC, in Athens. Stoic thought has been gaining more and more followers (and preachers) in recent years. If you've ever heard the phrase "so-and-so received the news (of something bad, tragic, etc.) in a stoic way", then you've understood the core of this philosophy, whose main representatives include Epictetus, Seneca and Marcus Aurelius (yes, the Roman Emperor). Basically, Stoicism teaches the importance of self-control, virtue and reason in order to achieve true happiness.   When we talk about self-esteem within this philosophy, it's important to understand that the Stoics believed that true self-esteem is not in the least linked to social status, external opinions or anything that others might think, but rather to things like inner virtue and the ability to exercise control over one's own emotions and attitudes. There are those who say that controlling emotions is as impossible as the idea of controlling thoughts. To these people I say: It's completely possible, when there's a will and practice, lots of practice. (Tip: Start with the thoughts, that way you hit the target twice).   Existentialists, like Sartre, remind us that ‘existence precedes essence’. Simone de Beauvoir, a forerunner of thinking outside the box, challenged society with her statement: "One is not born a woman: one becomes a woman." . In a context of self-esteem, this idea is transformed into:  "You are not born perfect: you become unique." . It's a kind of invitation to embrace our imperfections.   Albert Camus, with his famous "In the middle of winter, I discovered in myself an invincible summer" , offers us a powerful metaphor: even in the darkest moments, there is a spark of inner strength capable of pushing us to bloom, like a rose that stubbornly blooms in the middle of a barren, grey asphalt.   Clarice Lispector is the owner of a profound and incredible phrase: ‘I am stronger than I am’ . (repeat this phrase to yourself and observe what you think and feel).   Marcus Aurelius would approve of the phrase above. In his work ‘Meditations’, he teaches us to treat ourselves with kindness and patience, recognising that we are human beings with flaws and mistakes. Instead of blaming ourselves, we should learn from our experiences and always seek to improve. This practice of self-compassion is essential for building healthy self-esteem, as it allows us to accept our flaws without losing confidence in our ability to evolve.   Last but not least is the scientific view. Scientists and psychologists have been focussing on this topic for decades, perhaps because they themselves are desperate to understand why they feel so insecure despite all those diplomas on the wall. Studies show that self-esteem is linked to several areas of the brain, including the prefrontal cortex and the amygdala (not the one in the throat! don't confuse it). In other words, your self-esteem is the result of a complex neurological dance taking place inside your skull. It's almost poetic, isn't it? Your brain is literally juggling your self-image while you're trying to decide whether you have the courage to wear that pink demon-print shirt to the family reunion (Note: yes, I did).   Now, let's talk about some of the more well-known approaches as well as some theories. Don't be surprised, for some I've given them more appropriate names - at least in my view.   The Magic Mirror Approach:  This is the one that suggests you look in the mirror every day and say positive affirmations. It's as if you were Snow White and the mirror were that sycophant who always tells you that you're the most beautiful in the kingdom. Effective? Maybe, for some people (especially Leo women. Just kidding!). In my case, every time I repeated a phrase, my brain replied "don't lie to me, I'm not a fool!".   "The Method" of the Inner Superhero: Based on the idea that we all have an inner superhero (look at C.G. Jung with his archetypes) just waiting to be discovered. Let's say it's as if you were the Diana Prince of your own life, just waiting for the right moment to go out and reveal the Wonder Woman inside you. Just be careful not to "save" everyone and forget the most important thing, yourself (from personal experience).   "Fuck it" style (I still use that one):  A more modern and, let's say, direct approach. It consists of simply not giving a damn what other people think - it's liberating. As the contemporary ‘philosopher’ RuPaul would say: "What other people think of me is none of my business", marvellous. It's like being a cat in human form (I love it).   The "Asking Child" Tool (I adapted this and still use it):  The Information Approach. These are the "antonym" of affirmations: you don't affirm, you ask. An example of this would be: "Why do I deserve to be loved by myself?". The idea is that you "force" your brain to give you the answers to these questions. You get the idea, right?   The Pyramid Idea (not the Illuminati idea, don't confuse it):  We know that Psychology offers various approaches to understanding self-esteem. One of the best known is that of Abraham Maslow, who places it as part of his famous pyramid of needs. For Maslow, self-esteem is at the top of the pyramid, being a fundamental need for human well-being, right after the satisfaction of physiological, safety and social needs.   The Copy and Paste Theory:  According to this theory, self-esteem is influenced by the society and culture in which a person lives. The beauty standards, successes and achievements of others can affect how we see ourselves. An example of this would be those who constantly compare themselves to celebrities and influencers on social media. This behaviour can lead to a completely distorted and negative view of one's own appearance and also aggravates anxiety (don't tell me!).   Self-esteem in relationships:  It's undeniable that our self-esteem is deeply linked to the way we relate to others. People with good self-esteem tend to have healthier relationships, because they know how to set limits and have more self-confidence to express their needs. It is also because of this that some people come to accept disrespectful behaviour from their partners. Their low self-esteem contributes to the idea that they don't deserve better.   The role of childhood:  You don't need to be an expert to know that childhood is a crucial phase in the development of self-esteem. Children who grow up in nurturing environments and with parents who encourage them to believe in themselves tend to have a more positive and healthy self-esteem in adulthood.   Grey matter:  Research shows that self-esteem is also related to brain activity. People with higher self-esteem have greater activation in areas of the brain related to decision-making and self-confidence. Neuroscience studies show that when making important decisions, a person with good self-esteem can feel a greater sense of control and less stress. How to solve the problem of low self-esteem (or at least try) Now for the practical tips. No, it's not just about colouring your hair or buying new clothes (I can tell you that). In fact, you should know that these tips aren't meant to be done one day and then only when your brain remembers them. This is like starting a diet or going to the gym. It requires discipline, persistence and, above all, action!   1° Practise Self-knowledge:  Set aside time for yourself every day, no matter how much. This is like friendships: what counts is quality, not quantity! Do something you enjoy, the important thing is that it's something for and by you. A good example would be doing something you've always wanted to do but never had the time, and/or starting that project that's been sitting in your drawer for so long. Mark that appointment in your diary, don't miss it and don't be late! Read the article on Self-Knowledge here. 2° Re-evaluate your Priorities:  Question the standards imposed by society. What really matters to you? Is what you're replicating really yours or just something someone told you would be good for you? If you ever hear a guru say that the secret is to "think positive", remember that positivity is no substitute for an honest analysis of your feelings.   3° Practise Self-Compassion and Self-Care:  Self-compassion means being kind to yourself, especially in moments of failure! This involves letting go of excessive (and not at all constructive) criticism and accepting yourself in a more understanding way. This leads directly to taking care of yourself, whether through eating healthier, exercising, reading more books, meditating or simply allowing yourself to rest.   4° Challenge your Limiting Beliefs:  The vast majority of the time we carry negative beliefs about ourselves. These beliefs are not based on facts. Challenging them and replacing them with more coherent thoughts can have a big impact on self-esteem.  Read the article on Limiting Beliefs here.   5° Set Realistic Goals:  Stop setting absurd goals that you know you won't achieve in the short term. By setting clearer, more tangible goals, you'll be able to measure your progress and make adjustments if necessary, all in a more efficient way and without the mimimi and unreasonable demands.   6° Laugh at Yourself:  Life is a comedy full of comic tragedies. Get real and allow yourself to laugh at your faults, after all, you're not the "golden rosemary" who lives oblivious to the laws of the universe. Seriously! All of these practices, if seasoned with a touch of irony and a pinch of sarcasm, can lead you to that feeling - so good - of liberation.   7° Surround yourself with people who inspire you:  Your social circle influences your self-esteem much more than you might think. We're an average of the people we're closest to, so evaluate very carefully who you let be part of ‘this zone’. Avoid having people on your side who see the world through a yellow lens of criticism and negativity. Above all, try to stay away from people who only complain. Complaints are declarations of love for problems and being around people who support, respect and encourage you is fundamental. Very importantly, don't confuse those who encourage you with those who flatter you. The door to the street should be the door to the house for flattery too!   8° Celebrate Small Achievements:  Every victory, however small in your eyes, is a brick in the construction of your internal castle and in this castle you are the Queen, so only those you allow into your Kingdom enter! Don't forget to recognise the value of every step you take!   If you take these tips into account, it doesn't mean that your path will be linear, without obstacles or occasional stumbles. But it will certainly be uphill, growing exponentially!   Now, La grande finale But after all this philosophical rambling and dubious humour, here's my conclusion about self-esteem: it's confusing, complicated and absolutely essential. It's like oxygen for our mental health - we only realise how much we need it when we run out.   Developing self-esteem is a continuous process, full of ups and downs. A perfect emotional rollercoaster that we don't remember buying a ticket for. But hey , as long as we're on the ride, why not enjoy it?   Regardless of the approach you choose to take to the plant of your self-esteem, know that this attitude is extremely important. Although some (or many) of us didn't learn how to do this in our childhood or adolescence, it shouldn't become something immutable. Don't let something important become urgent!  Everything in life starts with cognition (learning), so try to do it for yourself. We are beings who learn through repetition, so don't get discouraged.   Maturing shows that often we won't have anyone to take us by the hand and show us the exact path, so it's up to us to take on that responsibility. For and by Us, always!   You are unique. Literally speaking, there isn't and won't be anyone like you again in this universe. This can be either a blessing or a curse, it all depends on how you look at it. But one thing is certain: you are the protagonist of your own story - and if you're not, you should be! So make it a story worth telling! Call to Action (because every good article needs one) So, readers, what did you think of this journey through the land of self-esteem? Are you already feeling more enlightened or just slightly confused?   Either way, don't stop here! Keep exploring the intricacies of your mind in our other equally irreverent and possibly exotic articles. If you have an opinion on Self-Esteem and think I'm completely wrong (or have been surprisingly accurate), leave a comment! After all, interacting with strangers on the internet is what makes us human in the 21st century, isn't it?   And if you liked this article, why not share it with others? Spread the word like a self-esteem virus (but, you know, the good kind of virus - if there is one). Oh, before I forget, for those of you who really love content that goes beyond the conventional, take a look at the UN4RT  website. It's like the  backstage  of a heavy metal  concert - only for your brain. Exclusive content that will make you question everything you thought you knew about yourself (in a good way, I promise).   ‘If you can't love yourself, how the hell are you going to love someone else?’   - RuPaul.   What are you waiting for? Go develop that self-esteem! Or at least pretend you're trying. Sometimes faking it until you make it is half the battle.   ‘Illusion crumbles when we question reality.’   - UN4RT Now, if you're the type who likes to get into things. Below are the sources, references and inspirations for this article. Go on, read it. But then don't come back if your head gets any fuller. Sherlock Holmes , a detective and consultant famous for his exceptional intelligence, logical deduction skills and encyclopaedic knowledge in various fields. This character was created by British writer Sir Arthur Conan Doyle . Holmes first appeared in the 1887 novel " A Study in Scarlet ." Epictetus ,  The Art of Living. Friedrich Nietzsche , Thus Spoke Zarathustra . T.   S. Elliot , influential 20th century poet, essayist and playwright. Laureate of the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1948. One of his most emblematic poems is " The Waste Land ", which deals with despair, fragmentation and disillusionment in post-First World War society. Stoicism , one of the most important philosophical schools in Ancient Greece. It seeks to teach people to live according to reason and nature, with a focus on developing a virtuous character, self-reliance and resilience in the face of life's difficulties. Zeno of Scythia ,   Greek philosopher and founder of Stoicism. He was born in Scythia, a city in what is now present-day Cyprus. It is said that after being shipwrecked and losing his fortune, he began studying philosophy in Athens as a form of consolation and to overcome his difficulties. Seneca , On the Shortness of Life  and On The Firmnes of the Wise Man . Marcus Aurelius , Meditations . Simone de Beauvoir , The Second Sex . Albert Camus , the exact origin of the quote is not associated with a specific work, but it reflects well the spirit of resilience. Clarice Lispector , An Apprenticeship or The Book of Pleasures. Snow White , a princess of incomparable beauty, the target of extreme envy from her stepmother. Character from a fairy tale popularised by the Brothers Grimm ( Schneewittchen ), but eternalised in pop culture as Disney's first feature film. Carl Gustav Jung , Man and his Symbols. Diana Prince , Amazon princess of the mystical island of Themyscira, daughter of Queen Hippolyta. This name is the secret identity of Wonder Woman, one of DC Comics' most iconic superheroines. Created by William Moulton Marston and drawn by H.G. Peter, she first appeared in " All-Star Comics #8 ’" in 1941. RuPaul Andre Charles , American singer, actor, drag queen and presenter, considered the most famous drag queen in the world. Creator and presenter of the reality TV show RuPaul's Drag Race, launched in 2009. Order of the Illuminati of Bavaria , a secret society founded in 1776. It was a group whose aim was to promote enlightenment, thus combating the influence of the Church and the State in society. The order was officially banned and dissolved in 1785 by the Bavarian government. But over the centuries theories have emerged claiming that the order still exists and operates in secret, controlling governments, the economy and even pop culture. The theories place them as part of a ‘new world order’ that manipulates global events in order to maintain power over society. Abraham Maslow , a US psychologist known for developing the Theory of the Hierarchy of Needs or Maslow's Pyramid, which is one of the most influential concepts in psychology. Maslow was part of humanistic psychology, which has an approach that emphasises personal growth. I recommend his book: " Towards a Psychology of Being ".

Ah, the dreaded self-sabotage! A curious and, in a way, universal phenomenon - where we ourselves, with all our supposed genius, become our own worst enemies. Whether it's fear of success, insecurity or simply an almost perverse desire to prove that we're not capable, we end up undermining our own opportunities. In a world where the quest for personal development and self-knowledge should be at the centre of discussions, understanding and confronting self-sabotage becomes not just a task, but a real art. But don't worry, you're not alone in this endeavour! Let's start by really understanding what it is. What is self-sabotage? In simple terms - self-sabotage is when you, armed with all your ability, decide to close the door in your own face. It's the phenomenon whereby attitudes, thoughts and behaviours end up blocking success or happiness, even when conditions are favourable. Let's take an example: Imagine yourself as a genius architect, designing the most impressive skyscraper in the world. You spend sleepless nights calculating every detail, choosing the best materials. And then, on the day of the inauguration, you secretly replace the foundations with marschmallows . Why is that? Because you're a master of self-sabotage, of course! The curious thing is that this dynamic can be repeated in various areas of life: relationships, career, mental health and even personal projects. The philosopher Sartre would explain that ‘We are condemned to be free.’ And apparently, we use this freedom to condemn ourselves to spectacular failure. It would be almost poetic if it weren't tragic. Socrates, the ‘Know thyself’ guy, would say that in the case of self-sabotage it would be the denial of this self-knowledge, a silent cry of ‘I don't deserve the best’. This contradiction between potential and action can be seen through various lenses: psychological, philosophical and even existential. It has many faces - it's like a kind of psychological chameleon that takes on different forms to catch us off guard. Sometimes it disguises itself as procrastination - after all, why do today what we can leave until 45 minutes into the second half, right ? Other times, it presents itself as perfectionism - because it's much easier never to start something than to risk doing something imperfectly. As the writer and philosopher Simone de Beauvoir rightly observed: ‘Man is defined as a being in search of meaning’. And apparently, many of us find meaning in sabotaging our own chances of success. Who needs enemies when we have ourselves, right? Nietzsche's eccentric wisdom, on the other hand, reminds us that ‘he who has a why can endure almost any how’, suggesting that self-sabotage, in some cases, is the result of a lack of a clear purpose or a well-defined life narrative. Behind Self-Sabotage Now let's dive a little deeper into that self-deprecating pit we call the human mind. Psychologists have various theories as to why we engage in this seemingly irrational behaviour. One line of thought suggests that the act of sabotaging oneself is a protection. It's like that friend who convinces you not to go to a certain party because ‘it's probably going to be boring’, when in fact she's just afraid that you'll meet cooler, more interesting people than her. Another theory proposes that self-sabotage is a way of maintaining control. After all, if we're going to fail, it's better that it's on our own terms, right? It's like being the captain of a sinking ship - but with the caveat that you can choose which iceberg to hit. Sigmund Freud already taught us that repressed impulses can surface in unexpected ways - like that habit of procrastinating that loves to turn a simple task into an epic existential drama (and who doesn't like being a ‘ drama queen ’ from time to time?). As the father of psychoanalysis once said: ‘Most people don't really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are afraid of responsibility’. And what better way to avoid responsibility than to ensure that we never achieve anything significant? Punk , right? Quoting once again our dear Simone de Beauvoir, she who defied convention and, with insight, highlighted how self-sabotage can be rooted in social structures that mould our self-image. Thus, internal sabotage is not only an individual problem, but also a mirror of the limitations imposed by a society that, ironically, preaches self-knowledge while fuelling collective insecurities (read that again and think about it). Self-sabotage has deep roots, often fuelled by factors such as low self-esteem, fear of failure and insecurity. Our brains sometimes seem ‘programmed’ to follow patterns of behaviour that guarantee the familiarity of suffering, even if it means giving up on success. And modern society bombards us with unrealistic expectations - a veritable ‘instruction manual’ for a perfect life that, in reality, only fuels anxiety. In this context, self-sabotage becomes our unconscious response to a world that, in a way, invites us to fail gloriously. Ouch!  Self-sabotage in the Real World and the Digital Age   Now let's find out a little more about how this manifests itself in the real world, shall we ? Think of that friend of yours who always complains that she's single, but rejects anyone who shows an interest. Or how about that person (who is definitely not me) who spends hours researching and planning ‘how to be more productive’ instead of, you know, actually doing something productive? As the philosopher and mathematician Hypatia of Alexandria wisely observed: ‘Reserve your right to think, because even thinking wrongly is better than not thinking at all’. With the advent of the digital age, the whole thing has risen to new heights. We now have endless ways to distract ourselves and avoid our responsibilities. Who needs to study, meditate, read, study, exercise when you can spend hours scrolling endlessly through social media feeds and then complain about the lack of time? It's almost as if we've evolved from a ‘hunter-gatherer’ species to a ‘procrastinator-sharer’. Our ability to find new ways to waste time and outsource responsibilities is truly impressive. Darwin would surely be proud (or horrified, it's hard to say). As the philosopher Slavoj Žižek said: ‘The true act of love is to leave the other alone’. Well, it seems that many of us really do love our own potential, because we certainly leave it alone, don't we? Now the moment everyone has been waiting for... How to identify and combat self-sabotage? So how can we break this vicious cycle? Well, the first step is to RECOGNISE that we're doing it. It's like being a smoker - the first step is to admit that you have a problem (from personal experience, I was a smoker for almost 20 years, until I stopped using the excuse: ‘I smoke because I like it’ and actually recognised that I had a problem, and a big one). But first of all, you should know one thing: it will only really work if you're aligned with the three pillars below. I call it the triad of success, and no, I didn't invent it. PILLAR No. 1 - Wanting to change  (This wanting can't be half-hearted, and certainly not for the sake of others. It's about you choosing to do it only for you and to you!) PILLAR No. 2 - Take responsibility  (Yes, 100 per cent of it, no one will take it on for you. Your life Your responsibility, simple as that!) PILLAR No. 3 - Persistence  (There's no point in doing two days badly and thinking you've done too much. Are you going to give up? The responsibility is entirely yours, so don't use other people's ears as a potty). Now, here are some tips that have helped me and still help me kick self-sabotage to hell: Self-observation without judgement:  Basically, it's about becoming a detective of ourselves, but without being a ruthless, unpalatable critic. Observe your behaviour patterns, identify moments when doubt or fear hinder your actions and ask yourself: ‘Why am I sabotaging myself now?’. I admit, it's annoying, especially in the early days, and not judging yourself is the biggest problem, but if you stick to the three pillars (mentioned above) you can do it. If I did it, you can do it too, give yourself a chance! Challenge your limiting beliefs (I wrote an article about this, the link is at the end of this one):  We often believe negative internal narratives. Remember the words of Nietzsche: ‘He who has a why can endure almost any how’. Find your ‘why’ and challenge the beliefs that insist on undermining your potential. (PS: If you want to know more about ‘how to find your why’ comment below, if there are enough comments I'll write an article telling you how I found mine). Set realistic goals and break down your objectives: Do you have a big dream? Turn it into small steps. After all, trying to run a marathon without training is as absurd as deciding to make a revolution without even having mastered the basics of walking. (PS: Don't know how to do this? Go there and post comments, and if you get any engagement I'll write about how I do it). Seek support:  Whether through friends, therapy, down here in the comments or communities that share the same desire for transformation, talking about these issues can be a powerful antidote to self-sabotage. Accept yourself and allow yourself to make mistakes and be imperfect:  If everything was always perfect, what would be interesting? And what would be the point of doing or learning something new if we already knew everything? Imperfection is the spice of existence! Learn to laugh at your mistakes, learn to forgive yourself. Forgiveness is not a feeling, it's a choice!  See every ‘failure’ as an opportunity to learn and grow - or at least as material for good stories and acid jokes. As the psychologist and philosopher Erich Fromm once said: ‘Man is the only creature who refuses to be what he is’. Perhaps it's time to accept who we are and work from there. Final reflections My opinion? As an observer and participant in this spectacle, I can't help but feel a certain admiration for the creativity with which we sabotage ourselves. It's almost an art form - although we'd prefer not to practise it so often. But while self-sabotage may seem like an insurmountable obstacle, it's also an invitation - a call to rethink our priorities and reframe our fears. By facing our own demons with a wry smile, we pave the way for genuine transformation, where every step, however faltering, is a victory over internal paralysis. In short, our ability to sabotage ourselves is a testament to the complexity of our mind. We are contradictory creatures, capable of great deeds and great failures. Now how about using your self-sabotage tendency in a productive way? Instead of sabotaging your life goals, how about sabotaging your normal routine by reading more articles on this blog? After all, procrastinating can be productive if you're learning something new, right? Feel free to leave comments, suggestions for topics, questions... And don't forget to recommend this blog because sharing is caring! And if you really want to take your journey of self-discovery to the next level, don't forget to visit the UN4RT   website - it's like a backstage pass to the show of your own mind. Remember: life is too short to let only others sabotage us. Do it yourself - but with style! See you next time! ‘Illusion crumbles when we question reality’ - UN4RT Ah, but if you're an intellectual masochist and would like to delve deeper into this topic, the sources, references and inspirations are below. Just don't forget the safe word! Jean-Paul Sartre , Existentialism is a Humanism. Socrates , Apology of Socrates (written by Plato ) Simone de Beauvoir , The Second Sex . Friedrich Nietzsche , Twilight of the Idols . Sigmund Freud , The Interpretation of Dreams . Hypatia of Alexandria , Neoplatonic philosopher and the first woman documented as being a mathematician, there is no specific work in this case, it is a ‘popular quote’ from her. Slavoj Žižek , Slovenian philosopher to whom the phrase is attributed. Érich Fromm , The Fear of Freedom.

Let's talk about this complex subject that always gets people talking. Yes, no one denies that this word has a deeper meaning, but nowadays it is glamourised and often used as a filler in motivational talks, cheap self-help manuals and, of course, in the photo captions of some gurus. It all seems very simple, you search on the internet and some websites appear advertising a practical step-by-step guide with the techniques to be applied, as if self-knowledge were a cake recipe that you just need to follow in a specific order. All very nice and all, but somewhere between the low-quality entertainment, the promise of easy answers, the existential angst of the moment and the procrastination of everyday life those little questions keep echoing in the mind: ‘What did I do to deserve it?’, ‘Why did this happen to me?’ and so on... These inconvenient questions lead us to another question, the biggest, oldest and most dreaded, the mother of all questions: ‘Who am I anyway?’ It's usually in the midst of this chaos of emotions, contradictions and problems that the subject of self-knowledge comes to the fore, but before you think I'm about to give you a tragic story with an epic twist or an instruction manual worthy of a washing machine, you should take a deep breath because the path is full of surprises. Let's get down to it! What is self-knowledge? Why on earth is this important and why are more and more people selling courses about it? Yes, if you've ever invested your hard-earned cash in a course that promised miracles, then welcome to the club! Let's just say that this whole getting to know yourself thing is, in essence, the art of deciphering the most complex enigma you'll ever encounter: yourself. Let me give you an example: imagine that your mind is a piece of software that is constantly being updated, where emotional bugs and system glitches combine to create a unique version of you - or at least, a version that gives you a headache every time the dreaded error screen appears. Well, self-knowledge in this case doesn't just mean running a diagnostic or rebooting the system, no, knowing yourself works like an upgrade! How to practise self-knowledge? Yes, you have to learn, study and put it into practice! With that in mind, we'll tackle the inevitable, diving into an ocean of thoughts and theories that sometimes seem to dialogue (or even argue heatedly) with each other. Different strands of thought have already tackled this labyrinth in quite different ways, and honestly sometimes it seems that each of them only holds part of the map, but it's still interesting to see what some of them say about it. Let's start philosophising and talk about Socrates, the famous philosopher who loved a maxim and who loved irony. He said: ‘Know thyself’, in his view, this was not a luxury, but a necessity for ethical living. Plato, his disciple, would agree, but with an air of having had enough of hearing this phrase and also because his ideas were somewhat different. He and his Allegory of the Cave would say that we are fated to see the world in a distorted way, we only see the shadows projected on a wall and believe that this is all there is, while the true reality is out there, under the sun and we just don't experience it because the cave is more comfortable. But if you find the ideas of the ancients a bit confusing and you're more of an irreverent type, preferring something less ‘straightforward’, let's say that Nietzsche can help you. He didn't believe in a fixed ‘I’. Instead, the true self would be a continuous construction, something always in transformation. ‘Know yourself? Good luck with that!’ he would say, with a teasing tone. It would be like trying to hit a moving target - frustrating at first but with the advantage of always being interesting. Freud, on the other hand, insisted that to understand oneself was to uncover the recesses of the unconscious - that dark little place where we create and hide our inner demons, repressed desires and childhood traumas. Carl Jung, the father of analytical psychology and Freud's contemporary, also had one foot in the basement. He brought us his concept of archetypes, suggesting that within each of us dwells a collective universe of symbols and images that mould our personality. But while the two above delve into the intricacies of the psyche with the seriousness of a crime investigator, Simone de Beauvoir, always surgical in her speech and ahead of her time, points out that self-knowledge is also a question of freedom and existential responsibility. ‘One is not born a woman, one becomes a woman,’ she said, reminding us that the process of getting to know oneself and transforming oneself is as crucial as the social constructions that mould us. The unmistakable Oscar Wilde joked about the idea of authenticity when he said that ‘being natural is a difficult pose to maintain’. Knowing yourself can therefore be seen as a kind of performance - a dance between what you are, what you want to be and what the world expects of you. Now Monsieur Jean-Paul Sartre, with his existentialist perspective and philosophical sarcasm, suggests that the ‘I’ is a construction that we carry out throughout our lives - and that we are therefore free to reinvent ourselves, but we are also condemned to this freedom. He argues that self-knowledge is not so much about discovering a hidden essence as it is about reinventing oneself every day, which, frankly, seems like a good excuse to justify existential crises as being ‘part of the process’. Last but not least, and for those who are fans of a more ‘zen’ approach, the vision of Eastern philosophy can be an option. In Buddhism, for example, the ‘I’ is seen as a temporary construct, a tangle of desires, sensations and thoughts that appear and disappear. In other words, the concept of ‘I’ is nothing more than an illusion, so if we want to find something stable and definitive, we'd better wait until we're lying down, because the search will be long and fruitless. Laozi, a master of Taoism, would say in an enigmatic tone: ‘Stop trying to find yourself and just be.’ Simple, isn't it? It's a shame that this concept of ‘just being’ is almost offensive to the Western mind, which lives to dissect, label, diagnose and fit every aspect of our identity into pretty, comfortable little boxes, bought at the latest ‘stock clearance’ at an unbeatable price. What's next? What to do with so much information? When we put all these different perspectives together, we realise that self-knowledge is ultimately a process where knowing other people's opinions can provide us with insights, but in the end it can leave us more confused than when we started, everything is a kind of discovery that only we ourselves can handle. There are those who prefer to ignore it, there are those who prefer everything to go back to ‘normal or the way it was before...’ I'm sorry to say that once this process begins, there's no turning back. And it's precisely at this moment that we realise that we haven't learned to look at ourselves with the eyes of understanding and realise how cruel we are to ourselves. We've learnt to always have a word of comfort for those who come to us to let off steam, we welcome them, we lend our shoulder... But when it comes to ourselves, things are completely different. Self-knowledge is the gateway for us to learn to accept ourselves, to realise that we're not perfect and that it's okay, that we deserve our own affection and understanding. But in order to do this, we need to put aside the ‘lash of penance’, we need courage and practice, yes, but above all persistence because, in my opinion, this is one of the only ‘jobs’ that is really worth every drop of sweat. You may disagree with everything I've written here, that's your right, you have your ‘own’ world view. What we have in common is that we are human beings who are learning and want the best for our lives. Nobody makes mistakes on purpose (with exceptions), we're all trying to get it right, each in our own way. The exercise is undoubtedly paradoxical, the more we try to get to know ourselves the more layers emerge and this can become confusing, so here's a tip - don't get carried away by clashes of the type: be rational OR emotional. Where on the one hand, cold, calculating logic tells you to analyse your feelings with the precision of a mathematician; on the other, the chaotic, passionate mess that is the human heart. There's no such thing as having to choose between being a robot programmed for efficiency and being a poet who refuses to follow grammatical rules. Freedom can be achieved when we embrace our own duality, accepting that sometimes being free means living with the absurdity and imperfection inherent in our condition. Calm down, take a deep breath, you're on the right track! Believe it! Self-knowledge, in my opinion, is an indispensable tool for living more consciously. Even if sometimes we feel like sending everything to that place or our path is full of disconcerting surprises (and idiotic people), or those situations that provoke a certain nervous laughter accompanied by the thought ‘Give me patience and not force...’, at some point we will learn to deal with our own faults and those of others, without being charged. Each in their own time, there's no rush, because after all, if life wasn't also a comedy of errors, how could we learn to appreciate the true meaning of being human? Nietzsche, the one who liked to set the cabaret on fire with his ideas, used a maxim that I have adopted for my life, which is: ‘Become who you are!’, which to me sounds like a call not only to embrace myself, but also to face head-on the absurdities and contradictions that come my way. In short, getting to know yourself is like dismantling and reassembling your own puzzle (without the instructions), it's embracing yourself and your own duality, it's recognising that each step (however clumsy we think it is) is part of our journey of continuous self-discovery. And in this story there is no full stop, only ellipses. So if you've got this far, congratulations! It means that your curiosity is fuelling the engine of your self-knowledge. Don't stop here! I invite you to explore the other articles on the blog, where other equally thought-provoking topics full of (often inconvenient) reflections await your visit. Feel free to interact - leave your comments, suggestions for topics and questions, share your experiences, even complain :) Oh, and don't forget to recommend the blog to anyone you know! PS: Now if you're really curious, pay a visit to our UN4RT website - our virtual ‘backstage’ that brings together exclusive and differentiated content, made especially for those who really thirst for knowledge and like irreverence. Keep exploring, questioning and, above all, getting to know yourself - because, after all, this is the most fun, surprising and insane adventure we can experience! You are both the artist and the work. So get to work! ‘Illusion crumbles when we question reality’. - UN4RT If you want to delve deeper into this subject and find out a little more about what was mentioned in the article, below are my sources, references and inspirations. But don't complain afterwards! Socrates , Maxims of Delphi. Plato , Apology of Socrates and The Republic (Allegory of the Cave). Friedrich Nietzsche , Thus Spoke Zarathustra . Sigmund Freud , The Ego and the ID. Carl Gustav Jung , Psychology and Alchemy and Man and his Symbols. Simone de Beauvoir , The Second Sex. Oscar Wilde , The Picture of Dorian Gray. Jean-Paul Sartre , Being and Nothingness. Laozi or Lao Zi also known as Lao-Tzu and Lao-Tze , Tao Te Ching .

Has there ever been a situation in your life where you longed for something greater (material or immaterial), but as if by magic, thoughts like: ‘I just can't do it’, ‘I don't have the time/money/capacity to...’, ‘That's too much for me...’ ‘I don't deserve...’ etc. If so, congratulations - you've met and made friends with your limiting beliefs. These small but powerful internal voices are like invisible chains that, with a touch of almost poetic irony, prevent us from exploiting all the potential we carry. These beliefs are ‘installed’ in our minds for free, courtesy of society, culture and personal experiences (our own and those of others). But before we start kicking these outdated ideas to the curb, let's understand what they really are because, as Alvo Dumbledore  once said: ‘...Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only by accepting can we recover...’ What are limiting beliefs? Beliefs are those convictions we have about the world, formed from childhood and moulded by family, culture and, of course, society. They guide us, providing a set of answers that are ready, but not always correct. A set of beliefs is called a paradigm. To make it easier to understand, let me give you a simple example: Imagine your mind as a vast garden, full of possibilities. Now, imagine that instead of growing flowers and leafy trees (strong beliefs), you're content to water and tend only to weeds. Yes, weeds represent limiting beliefs, and as the name implies, they are conceptions that place limits on what we believe is possible and/or deserved. It's important to emphasise that they don't come from beyond - they are built on distorted interpretations of past experiences, cultural teachings and even fear of the unknown. These internalised ideas act as barriers to our personal growth because they don't show you the truth, but they make a point of convincing you that they are fair and true. Let's say that our biggest problem with them is that, most of the time, we don't realise that they are there, present, governing our choices. Where do they come from? The roots of limiting beliefs Right, but why do we persist in acting on beliefs that we don't know where they come from? Simple: we're beings of lazy habits. Or is it because we believe in our own narrative so much that we prefer stagnation to daring to challenge what limits us? By the way, it's worth mentioning that various schools of thought have already ventured into analysing this phenomenon (what a novelty). Cynical philosophers would argue that the true purpose of life is to remain comfortable, not to achieve true freedom. Aristotle said that ‘we are what we repeatedly do’ and that limiting beliefs violate the balance between fear and daring. Plato warned us in his famous Allegory of the Cave, where shadows are mistaken for reality. Carl Jung, for his part, explained that the collective unconscious is a powerful force that moulds our psyche from inherited ideas. Modern cognitive psychology suggests that our mind creates ‘shortcuts’ to avoid emotional pain, resulting in convictions that are not always true, which in other words means that beliefs are the fruit of past experiences, reinforced by negative thought patterns. An example of this would be: a child who witnessed their parents' financial problems and constantly heard the phrases “money is hard to earn” or “you have to work hard to earn money”, grows up believing that they will never be prosperous, or that they will have to work absurd hours to do so. The result? They often don't even try to venture into new opportunities, because they already ‘know’ that they will fail. Pure self-sabotage packaged with satin ribbon and a very large label saying ‘truth’. Albert Ellis, one of the pioneers in cognitive restructuring, would say that these dysfunctional ideas can - and should - be identified and challenged. The philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, always very subtle, would give us a metaphorical slap in the face by saying that ‘man is something that must be overcome’, suggesting that we are prisoners of our limitations because we want to be. The existentialists saw these beliefs as an obstacle to freedom and the responsibility of being who we really are. Sartre proclaimed ‘existence precedes essence’, suggesting that we are free to define our own path, limiting beliefs manifest themselves precisely as that inner voice that insists on maintaining the status quo , even when it is, to say the least, boring. The contemporary wisdom of authors such as Tony Robbins and Brené Brown, for example, reminds us that personal transformation begins precisely when we decide to challenge mental barriers. And neuroscience, for its part, says that limiting beliefs can literally be engraved in our brains, yes, isn't that great! This happens in the following way: by repeating certain thought patterns, we establish synaptic connections (connections that neurons make with each other, basically speaking). Therefore, the more we repeat a belief, the more these connections are strengthened, and so we end up accepting that this is the only ‘reality’. Religious people would say it's God's will, atheists would say it's a genetic predisposition, philosophers would argue that it's our arbitrary interpretation of what we call ‘truth’ but, regardless of all that, whatever the justification or line of thought - including the Freudian analysis of internal conflicts and the behavioural approach that sees human behaviour as the product of conditioning - everything converges on the idea that limiting beliefs are obstacles to be overcome, in other words, at the end of this tunnel there is a way out, it is entirely possible to change them. How can limiting beliefs be hindering your growth? Well, if you've read the block above, you've probably already understood or at least have an idea of how this might be affecting you, but let's make it even clearer. Imagine that your mind is like a crossfit championship, where the aim is to test your strength, endurance and determination in order to conquer new records. Now, imagine that instead of using modern, functional equipment, you're using rusty equipment with a high risk of accidents (seriously, if you've ever seen how a crossfit  championship works, you'll realise that the quality of the equipment is essential) - that's right, this broken equipment represents exactly what you're thinking, limiting beliefs. Every ‘I can't’ is a ballast that prevents you from raising the bar of your potential (wow, I've outdone myself with that phrase). It's like trying to compete in a marathon with chains tied to your feet. In practice, these beliefs only lead us into a cycle of self-sabotage, which repeats itself over and over again through patterns. B. F. Skinner, with his passion for behavioural analysis, would probably say that we are reinforcing negative behaviours, even if unconsciously, through a cycle of repetition that keeps us stuck in a state of inertia. Let me simplify this guy's speech with an example: have you ever had the funny feeling of repeating experiences in relationships? As if every time the same ‘story repeats itself’ but with different people? It's as if everything is ‘programmed’ to prevent you from succeeding in that area of life? Does that sound familiar? Yeah, you get the idea, right? We know that if we let this mentality perpetuate itself, we'll end up believing that mediocrity is our comfort zone. What could be more ironic than settling for ‘ok’ when you can aspire to ‘extraordinary’? It's as if, instead of updating the system, we decided to live forever with the ‘ Windows 98’ of our own existence. Now for the practical part! How to replace beliefs: An invitation to liberation  The good news is that, just as software  can be updated, our minds can also be ‘reprogrammed’ (this word should not be interpreted literally, it's just a figure of speech, because we're not robots). The first step is to RECOGNISE that that critical inner voice IS NOT AN ABSOLUTE TRUTH, because absolute truths don't exist! That voice is just a remnant of old patterns, ready to be questioned. Here are some of the practical strategies I've used to deconstruct some of my barriers: Identify them and Challenge them:  Name them! Pay attention to your thoughts, when self-limiting ones arise, question them. Write them down in a notebook or on your mobile phone if you like. Use the question: ‘Is this really what I think about this?’ or ‘Where did this idea come from?’ or ‘Who the F%D#P said that this is true?’ This will take practice! Yes, thinking with your head takes work, but it's extremely rewarding. So PERSIST, it's your life and your growth at stake! (Thinking and having thoughts are completely different things, most people have thoughts and think they're thinking. An elementary mistake). Cognitive restructuring:   Rewrite, replace, transform ‘I can't’ into ‘Why not try?’, for example. Most people don't pay the slightest attention to the quality of their internal narratives, let alone know that they can change them. A simple change can open doors to new possibilities. Meditation and Self-Knowledge:  Take a few minutes out of your day to reflect on your thoughts. It seems like a contradictory exercise, but it's extremely beneficial. You can start with just 5 minutes. Meditation helps us observe these patterns without judgement, allowing you to consciously modify them. Acid Humour, Irony and Action:  Sometimes laughing at yourself is the best way to take the force out of your beliefs. Yes, Oscar Wilde used to say: ‘Life is too important to be taken seriously’, so face your limitations with a pinch of sarcasm too and see how they lose some of their weight. Very important: action is essential, get off your arse and use every little action consistently to reinforce your new beliefs. Simone de Beauvoir reminds us that ‘we change ourselves every day’, and this transformation largely depends on how we choose to interpret our experiences. Instead of being paralysed by the fear of failure (or success), how about embracing uncertainty with the curiosity of a scientist and the humour of a poet? Final considerations To summarise, limiting beliefs are mental barriers formed from experiences, fears and cultural and social conditioning that prevent us from reaching our true potential. Whether from the perspective of cognitive psychology, existentialist philosophy or modern self-help approaches, all lines of thought agree: breaking down limitations is essential for authentic personal growth. I believe that recognising and challenging our beliefs is the first, and perhaps most important, step towards a fuller life. Abandoning the comfortable cocoon of doubt and embracing uncertainty with humour and courage is the path to becoming the best version of ourselves. As the brilliant philosopher Hannah Arendt would say, ‘thinking without a certain degree of restlessness is simply complacency’, and there is nothing more liberating (in my opinion) than transforming our restlessness into coherent actions and creativity. Did you like this content? Then leave a comment and don't stop here! Keep exploring the other articles to discover more insights  into personal growth, self-knowledge and development. Your interaction is fundamental - leave your comments, suggestions for topics, questions and share this post with your friends who also need to break through their internal barriers. I also invite you to visit the UN4RT   website, a veritable ‘ backstage ’ full of exclusive content that can transform your perspective. Come and be part of this revolution in thinking and discover a universe of creativity and self-knowledge! ‘Illusion crumbles when we question reality’ - UN4RT Now, if you have an obscure desire to delve deeper into this, the sources, references and inspirations follow below. Good luck, you'll need it... Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore , a wise and powerful wizard from the Harry Potter series written by British author J.K. Rowling . The Cynics , those Ancient Greek philosophers who were adept at cynicism, were known for their lack of material attachment and their rejection of society's customs and values. Aristotle ,  Nicomachean Ethics. Plato , The Republic . Carl Gustav Jung , Man and his Symbols. Albert Ellis , Founder of Rational-Emotive Behaviour Therapy (RBEBT), known for his approach to cognitive restructuring. Friedrich Nietzsche , Thus Spoke Zarathustra . Jean-Paul Sartre , Being and Nothingness. Simone de Beauvoir , The Second Sex. Anthony Robbins , Unlimited Power  and Awaken the Giant Within . Brené Brown , The Gifts of Imperfection  and The Power of Vulnerability . Norman Doidge , The Brain That Changes Itself . Crossfit , strength and conditioning programme combining a variety of high-intensity exercises. B. F. Skinner , Science and Human Behaviour. Windows 98 , The operating system that succeeded Windows 95 was the first version of the desktop platform to be designed and developed for end consumers. Created by Microsoft. Oscar Wilde , Lady Windermere's Fan. Hannah Arendt , The Human Condition.